101 impossible ‘would you rather’ questions for the internet

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Photo via Ljupco/GettyImages (Licensed) Remix by Jason Reed

#Choices.

If you’ve ever been on a long road trip or invited to a slumber party or spent a year as an eighth grader, you’ve likely played “Would You Rather.”

The rules are incredibly simple and universally known. But on the off-chance you’re visiting us from outer space, here’s how the “Would You Rather” game works: You begin by posing a dilemma of two equally horrible-seeming (or sometimes equally enticing) options to the other player. Here’s an example: “Would you rather have sex with a dog and nobody in the world knows you did it, or would you rather not have sex with a dog, and everybody in the world thinks you did it?”

You then smirk as the other player wrestles with such an impossible scenario. After they pick what they consider to be the less awful of two atrocious situations, it’s their turn to come up with a dilemma for you.

The game is a regular segment on the Comedy Bang! Bang! podcast. Celebrity guests including Ice-T and Bernie Sanders are asked by host Scott Aukerman to choose what they believe to be the best of two dreadful scenarios. The questions are nutty and awful: “Would you rather eat an entire Christmas tree, or have all of your children have Jim Carrey’s face from The Grinch tattooed on their chests?” is one question Aukerman posed to comedian Patton Oswalt.

The beauty of “Would You Rather” is its simplicity. The game requires no advance knowledge and no skills outside a little bit of creativity. But it’s only as fun as the people you play with. There’s no denying that the more absurd and occasionally X-rated “Would You Rather” gets, the more fun it becomes.

For a bit of inspiration, here are some uncomfortable propositions compiled from Reddit, either.io, and our sick, sick imaginations.

The best Would You Rather questions

1) Would you rather gain 10 pounds or be banned from the internet for a month?

2) Would you rather an unrecognizable child photo of you be the subject of a vicious internet meme (i.e. Ermahgerd Girl) that lasts for years, or be the laughingstock of Twitter for a day?

3) Would you rather accidentally “like” a two-year-old photo of your significant other’s ex whom you were in the middle of Facebook stalking, or accidentally send a sext to your mom?

4) Would you rather be trolled by members of the alt-right or members of Gamergate?

5) Would you rather have to read every word of the “terms and conditions” when you’re prompted to, or have to ask your parents for permission every time you have sex?

6) Would you rather be a millionaire or live in the world of Harry Potter?

7) Would you rather live in the world of Star Wars or cure a rare form of cancer?

8) When you die, would you rather have your credit card statement or your Google search history released?

9) Would you rather be allergic to chocolate or allergic to smartphones?

10) Would you rather have your Seamless account hacked and all the details made public, or have all your files and folders filled with porn?

11) Would you rather play Pokémon Go in real life or The Last Guardian in real life?

12) Would you rather have your Netflix viewing history made public or your Spotify listening history made public?

13) Would you rather be in a real-life version of The Walking Dead or a real-life version of Game of Thrones?

14) Would you rather be permanently banned from Tinder or be permanently banned from all grocery stores within a 5-mile radius of where you live?

15) Would you rather have a hacker swoop in and publicize all the selfies you’ve taken in the past year (without filters) or have your personal email hacked?

16) Would you rather lose the ability to vote in elections or the ability to say anything on social media (including commenting on people’s Facebook posts or liking their photos on Instagram)?

17)  Would you rather have the ability to find out why someone you’re dating ghosts on you or the ability to see actual ghosts?

18) Would you rather lose all the photos you’ve taken on your smartphone this year or lose all the books you own?

19) Would you rather gain 10 friends in real life or 10,000 followers on Twitter?

20) Who would you rather bring back from the dead: Harambe or the late Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia?

21) Would you rather be catfished or the victim of identify theft?

22) Would you rather lose access to a smartphone for a year and get a 10 percent raise at work or keep your smartphone and the same salary?

23) Would you rather have the last five photos on your camera roll appear on a billboard in Times Square or have every unflattering photo you’ve untagged yourself from on Facebook reappear overnight?

24) Would you rather be able to pick the person who becomes the next President of the United States or the person who directs Star Wars: Episode X? 

25) Would you rather be forced to drink only pumpkin spice lattes and no other coffee for the rest of your life or only LaCroix for the rest of your life?

Best Would u Rather Questions: Awkward billboard sign Photo by northallertonman/Shutterstock

26) Would you rather be forced to host a big dinner party and invite everyone you left-swiped on Tinder or have brunch with the last person who called you out on Twitter?

27) Would you rather lose your ability to text or lose your ability to give a high-five?

28) Would you rather sound like Jar-Jar Binks for the rest of your life or Siri?

29) Would you rather lose the ability to use GPS for the rest of your life or lose the ability to use a debit or credit card?

30) Would you rather don only Sailor Moon outfits for the rest of your life or dress like the cast of Hamilton for the rest of your life?

31) Would you rather have the ability to see every text that wasn’t sent to you or the ability to see every text that is about you?

32) Would you rather have nude photos of you leaked on the internet but not seen by anyone you know or accidentally moon everyone at work during an important meeting?

33) Would you rather be forced to talk like Donald Trump’s Twitter feed for a year or bingewatch every single episode of The Apprentice?

34) Would you rather have eyes that can film everything or ears that can record everything?

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35) Would you rather be stuck with your original screen name for the rest of your life or have to change usernames and passwords every month?

36) Would you rather be doxed by Anonymous or have your information leaked in a health insurance provider hack?

37) Would you rather have Reddit take up 90 percent of your day or 9gag take up 90 percent of your day?

38) Would you rather have Trump win the 2016 presidential election or have the voice in your head sound like Trump for the rest of your life?

39) Would you rather eat the Twitter bird or the World Wildlife Fund panda?

40) Would you rather always get stuck in traffic or always have a really slow internet connection?

41) Would you rather have a flying car or have 1Tbps internet connection?

42) Would you rather get chosen for the Hunger Games or the Triwizard Tournament?

43) Would you rather live in the Pokémon universe but only be able to catch one Rattata or live in the Harry Potter universe but be a Squib?

44) Would you rather get trolled on Twitter by hundreds or get called an offensive name on the street by a stranger?

45) Would you rather read everything that Kim Kardashian has ever tweeted or be forced to only use Kimoji for the rest of your life?

46) Would you rather be forced to see your friends only once a month or lose 100 Twitter followers every month?

47) Would you rather have unlimited storage space on your iPhone or unlimited storage space in real-life?

48) Would you rather live out the Zola tweet storm in real life or be forced to follow DJ Khaled’s advice for a month?

49) Would you rather have Google search results for your name confused with a convicted killer or a famous pornstar?

50) Would you rather give the rest of the internet control over your Twitter account or give your mom control over your Tinder account?

51) Would you rather have every photo on your phone play as a slideshow for your family or let your grandmother read your text messages with your significant other?


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52) Would you rather be a wildly successful YouTube star who is accidentally embraced by 4chan or a uploader everyone respects but no one watches?

53) Would you rather have the ability to teleport every time you fart or heal any wound by screaming at it?

54) Would you rather have every Tinder match be able to read your other messages or never be able to use computers or smartphones for dating again?

55) Would you rather be able to talk to your pet or to people who are dead via Facebook messenger?

56) Would you rather take a look at your Mom or your Dad’s internet history?

57) Would you rather have male birth control or six weeks of maternity leave for every woman?

58) Would you rather have dogs or cats permanently banned from your Instagram feed?

59) Would you rather sucker punch a Nazi or get into a televised debate with a Nazi arguing against their points?

60) Would you rather have your face be a Snapchat filter every time there’s a full moon or never use emoji again?

61) Would you rather have a cold three months out of the year or have to see a doctor to get viral marketing out of your head?

62) Would you rather always use LOL-speak in real life, even at funerals, or only communicate via a series of emoji that pop up over your head?

63) Would you rather be a loser on The Bachelor or a winner on Jeff Foxworthy’s American Bible Challenge?

64) Would you rather have your most embarrassing moment captured in a GIF that goes viral or face your greatest fear?

65) Would you rather never need to upgrade your computer or never need to upgrade your smartphone?

66) Would you rather have Batman’s skills, money, equipment, and lifestyle or end crime around the world for good but be poor and unnoticed?

67) Would you rather be a character on Game of Thrones but not get to choose which character or be Charlie in It’s always Sunny in Philadelphia?

68) You rather be the most famous comedian in the entire world but your fan base mistakenly believes your jokes are racist or be completely unknown for your art until you’re dead?

69) Would you rather be beautiful but every time you burp you shouted an insult about the person closest to you, or be hideous but every time you burp money comes out your mouth?

70) Would you rather your life story be turned into an Oscar-winning drama directed by Steven Spielberg that accidentally makes your mother look like a monster or have your life story turned into a Lifetime movie of the week starring Jennifer Love Hewitt that makes your mom looks awesome?

71) Would you rather talk in the third person every time you have sex or introduce yourself as “Daddy’s Big Boy” every time you meet someone in business?

72) Would you rather have the face and abs of Ryan Reynolds and the voice of Gilbert Godfrey or the body and face of Gilbert Godfrey with the singing voice of Frank Sinatra?

73) Would you rather pee 18-year-old single malt scotch or well whiskey?

74) Would you rather give your wedding vows using only Family Guy quotes or using sign language you made up?

75) Would you rather give any other president a sponge bath or kiss Donald Trump on the mouth?

76) Would you rather sustain all of your nourishment by eating your toenails or be able to eat whatever you want but have massive diarrhea?

77) Would you rather be a super rich but only able to walk places or incredibly broke but able to travel wherever you want?

78) Would you rather be the returned messiah but no one believes you actually are or be viewed as the child of God and be a fraud?

79) You have to go to dinner with a group of cannibals who intend to eat you. Would you rather know in advance that they are going to attempt and probably succeed at eating you or go in blind and have a surprise? Either way, you will be eaten by cannibals.

80) Would you rather be able to memorize the contents of a book by reading it or speak knowledgeably about any subject but never be able to read again, including novels?

81) Would you rather get a tattoo that has genuine emotional and sentimental value to you without being able to pick the artist or get a tattoo of Dane Cook on your arm by the greatest tattoo artist on the planet earth?

82) Would you rather have to hunt for everything you eat or eat only McDonald’s for every meal?

83) Would you rather only be able to enter buildings through the window or exit buildings only through a window?

84) Would you rather find absolute happiness but know that your happiness doomed the entire human race or be miserable forever but know that your misery keeps humanity safe?

85) Would you rather people be able to hear every break-up conversation you’ve ever had by streaming it on Spotify or have a website with every love letter you’ve ever written?

86) Would you rather your name be Little Caesars or Papa John?

87) Would you rather discover that your entire life has been a computer simulation or accept that everything has happened because of your actions?

88) Would you rather say every ethnic word in an offensive accent or mispronounce every ethnic word when you say it?

89) Would you rather be with your soulmate who annoys you every day or be married to someone who is perfectly fine and makes you feel content but always know your soulmate is out there and not next to you?

90) Would you rather fight Floyd Mayweather with his dominant hand tied behind his back or Abraham Lincoln in his prime?

91) Would you rather be a foot and a half taller or a foot shorter?

92) Would you rather explode if you don’t check into your house by midnight every single day or have to stay someplace new every night?

93) Would you rather see a happy picture of every animal you ate when it was still alive before you had dinner it or be a vegetarian who can hear vegetables scream?

94) Would you rather be in a fight club that met once a month or a book club that met every day?

95) Would you rather live in a haunted house or live the rest of your life knowing there is no afterlife?

96) Would you rather have five ex spouses or never get married?

97) Would you rather have no offspring or have your children be the band the Offspring?

98) Would you rather be able to fly for two minutes at a time or never be hurt when you hold your breath?

99) Would you rather be a universally despised band with countless hit singles like Nickelback or a critically acclaimed band who plays half-empty shows and can’t sell records?

100) Would you rather spend the rest of your life as an iconic adult film star or be president of the United States for eight years?

101) Would you rather fight Floyd Mayweather with his dominant hand tied behind his back or Abraham Lincoln in his prime?

Editor’s note: This article is regularly updated for relevance. 

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