Everyone has regrets, but choosing just one to remedy—and figuring out how—is trickier than it sounds. Consider what you’d tell yourself from five years ago if you had a 30-second phone call to impart some crucial wisdom.
That was the big hypothetical posed to r/AskReddit this week, and while the answers range from the obvious (winning lottery numbers) to the heartbreaking (spend more time with a loved one who will soon pass away), some strategies for self-improvement were rather surprising.
Take Live_Lucky, who learned about the true cost of late-night tacos:
Don’t drive home. Stay where you are. The tacos aren’t worth jail time, no license and $10,000 in fees/fines. Most expensive tacos ever.
GlutenFreetos would use the opportunity for an epic prank:
I would start breathing heavily, and creepily, then slowly say “Seven Days”
My past self would die and shit, it’d be great
As would Klogaroth:
“Whatever you do, don’t…”
Then hang up.
Meanwhile, awesomoben wants a better wedding experience:
Choose better best men – one won’t show up and the other will tell everyone about how you had to take an emergency shit behind a Co-op (UK supermarket) in his speech or have you as his best man a couple of years later:(
Chappy5001 had a very simple bit of advice:
Dont chug the milk on 9/21/16 @ 7:45am. Its spoiled.
Ditto oubrew:
Set up your god damn voicemail!
Tr4sh3d doesn’t hold out much hope for his younger self:
I won’t answer…. I never answer my phone. Especially from an unknown number. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
And NotCarlos is suffering from some present-day self-consciousness:
I’d probably waste 10 seconds awkwardly saying hello then another 10 seconds building up to saying bye.
Sometimes I hate being British.
Congrats to thestooshie for delivering the real talk:
Come out of the goddamn closet. You are SO GAY.
Seems like oishter just wants to impress their friends with TV predictions:
I’m the rare sort of person who LOVES spoilers, it never ruins experiences for me, so I’d just run through the major plot points of the next 5 seasons of all my favorite shows. And I’d tell myself not to watch the HIMYM finale.
Whereas Jatts_integrity wants to be a real hero:
On May 28, 2016 a kid is going to fall into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden.
And 19081624060216221807 definitely found a loophole:
“Alright, listen up you little shit. In five years, you will have 30 seconds to call yourself from five years ago. Think of something better than I did.”
So, what about you? Anything in the past you’d try to change? Apart from your Bitcoin investments, I mean.
