Skip to content
  • Tech
  • Internet Culture
  • Streaming
  • IRL
  • Video Originals
  • Dot Recs
  • About
    • About Us
    • Contact
    • Jobs
    • Terms of Use
    • Privacy Policy
    • Ethics Policy
  • Tech
  • Internet Culture
  • Streaming
  • IRL
  • Video Originals
  • Dot Recs
  • About
    • About Us
    • Contact
    • Jobs
    • Terms of Use
    • Privacy Policy
    • Ethics Policy

tortoises

Tortoise and hare face off in real-life race, and guess who wins?

Will slow and steady actually win the race?

On Oct 6, 2017 by David Britton

Internet Culture

‘F**k Tortoise’ saves his endangered species by having sex all the time

In praise of Diego, the Galapagos F**k Tortoise.

On Sep 14, 2016 by Jay Hathaway

Internet Culture

This miniature Jurassic Park is home to a fearsome pet tortoise

But how long until he escapes?

On May 3, 2016 by David Britton

Internet Culture

Modest baby tortoise decides to leave his eggshell on

The new look for spring.

On Apr 21, 2016 by Miles Klee

Internet Culture

World’s oldest animal, a tortoise named Jonathan, takes his very first bath

Rub-a-dub-dub.

On Mar 24, 2016 by Gabe Bergado

Internet Culture

New York tortoise walker is the best job posting on Craigslist

Henry the tortoise needs some weekday fun.

On Mar 9, 2016 by Gabe Bergado

Internet Culture

Fastest tortoise in the world can hustle about a foot a second

The hare has nothing on this dude.

On Sep 11, 2015 by Gabe Bergado

Internet Culture

Tortoise defies society’s expectations and eats upside down

It could care less what you think. It's hungry and lazy.

On Aug 18, 2015 by Gabe Bergado

Internet Culture

Tortoise opens a door and lets himself into a house

Slow and steady gets inside.

On Aug 11, 2015 by Gabe Bergado

Internet Culture

This hard-partying tortoise is getting up to all sorts of trouble

Live slow, die slower, bad tortoises do it well.

On May 28, 2015 by Gabe Bergado

Internet Culture

Tiny tortoises eating tiny pancakes will make you squee forever

Good for them!

On May 18, 2015 by Myles Tanzer

Internet Culture

Watch this tortoise zip around town in a giant wheelchair

The reptile gets a second chance at a mobile life.

On Apr 28, 2015 by Gabe Bergado

Internet Culture

Man’s adorable giant tortoise is the toast of Tokyo

As close as you can get to a real-life Pokémon.

On Apr 17, 2015 by Gabe Bergado

Internet Culture

Craigslist post from ‘billionaire’ seeking DNA hacker is utter insanity

This makes so much sense.

On Apr 15, 2015 by Christine Friar

Internet Culture

Giant tortoise understandably angry at being interrupted during sex

Get online and pay for reptile porn like everyone else, man.

On Mar 20, 2015 by Miles Klee

Internet Culture

Get the Daily Dot in your inbox