Jon Stewart wants Sen. Mitch McConnell to prove he’s not a turtle

Remember when conservatives demanded evidence that President Obama was born in these United States? Well, get ready for a way better truther movement: the campaign to prove, once and for all, that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is literally a turtle.   

At the forefront of this grassroots crusade is none other than Jon Stewart, host of an increasingly radicalized basic cable program known as The Daily Show, who went so far as to tempt the likely reptilian congressman with a delicious-looking sprig of lettuce. “Your move,” he said, leveling his as-yet-unchallenged charge of turtlehood. “Your slow, deliberate move.”

Come and get it.

Watch the full segment, which segues into a fantastic imagining of the inevitable war between Texas and Florida, right here:  

Don’t know about you guys, but I’ve always thought of McConnell as more of a tortoise.

Photo via Comedy Central

Miles Klee

Miles Klee

Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions,  and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'