Illustration by Max Fleishman

Woman’s Twitter thread about her hot Uber driver will ruin you

The surprise Twitter ending strikes again.

 

Samantha Grasso

Internet Culture

Published Dec 12, 2016   Updated May 25, 2021, 10:01 am CDT

First there was Zola, and then the Gucci flip flop. Even the sushi date from hell. And now, one Twitter user KelliAmirah has brought us: the shady Uber driver.

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Last Tuesday, Kelli shared the harrowing tale of how she mustered up the courage to ask out her Uber driver. 

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Excuse us, her extremely hot Uber driver.

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Given the brief encounter that an Uber ride brings, Kelli and her friend are trying to figure out how she should really go about doing this.

And then she just goes for it! Well, kind of.

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The next day, Kelli’s little stunt starts to look like a DJ Khaled “Congratulations, you played yourself,” scenario.

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And almost all is lost…

UNTIL!!!

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Finally, all Kelli has to do is get through this final of hers, and then it is HELLO UBER DRIVER.

But of course he gets back to her at the least opportune moment.

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No. 1 rule about starting a Twitter story thread is having the phone battery charge to last the entire story—c’mon Kelli!

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But after a brief BRB, Kelli is back with the story.

So of course, like most shy people, Kelli is starting to have all these second thoughts about asking him out.

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Hooooo girl, here goes nothing.

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And now, THE MOMENT OF TRUTH!

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AND THEN THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED!!!

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That’s it, right? Happily ever after? Of course not, because life’s biggest Ls are best served piping hot. 

Four days later, Kelli received the rudest of awakenings.

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What’s up with this Uber driver? Bless you, Kelli, for sharing this cautionary tale, and may you have better luck next time with Lyft.

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*First Published: Dec 12, 2016, 7:46 am CST