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The cost of living in American cities has become comically high, and Los Angeles is among the worst offenders. In fact, it’s gotten so bad that one couple on the HGTV show Tiny House Hunters chose a literal burned down shack as their affordable housing option.
But there are still deals to be had—if you’re willing to pay the price in some other way besides money.
Twitter user @fuckmarrywill posted an ad he found on Zillow that offered free rent in a three-bedroom apartment in L.A. The catch? Well, you have to clip your roommate’s toenails.
“See, my toenails have reached such an extraordinary length that it is physically impossible for me to walk now,” the lister wrote. “I need you, the applicant, to trim my toenails for me.”
They go on to admit standard clippers aren’t going to get the job done and suggest “maybe even garden shears.” Each clipping session will be equal to three months’ rent, at which point they say their nails will have reached the same length and will need to be clipped again.
“They are going to keep growing. There is nothing I can do to stop it anymore,” they wrote. “I have accepted defeat.”
and yall said rent in LA was crazy pic.twitter.com/2DSxvWmpuj— will (@fuckmarrywill) January 10, 2020
The tweet quickly went viral, as people all over the world considered just how much dignity they would be willing to set aside to make such a fiscally responsible deal. And so many folks were severely horrified at the prospect.
“The man is a [werewolf] or lesser demon and this sounds like the [start] of a bizarre indie horror flick,” Twitter user @AYOArielleGrace wrote.
The man is a ware wolf or lesser demon and this sounds like the starter of a bizarre indie horror flick.— AYO! Arielle! (@AYOArielleGrace) January 11, 2020
One user used the kombucha girl meme to express their initial disgust before opening up to the possibility of it.
“Which season of american horror story is this,” Twitter user @headsetsGluedOn joked.
Which season of american horror story is this— Alex Pham (@headsetsGluedOn) January 11, 2020
The agony of “de-feet”— Caleb Slegh (@SleghCaleb) January 11, 2020
But a number of others chimed in that they would absolutely take that deal–probably because we live in a country where the minimum wage hasn’t kept up with inflation, rents in L.A. have gone up 65% over the last decade, and the 1% is hoarding all the wealth (just a thought).
“I’d take it no question,” Twitter user @Obee_Donkey wrote.
Another questioned if they should bring some nail polish while they’re at it.
“…so did u want me to paint them too cause I’m on my way,” Twitter user @abou_k203 offered.
i'd take it no question— Obee, but ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ (@Obee_Donkey) January 11, 2020
Give me some gloves and saw and I’ll get to work 😌— zeph (@zephbalentine) January 11, 2020
id do it tf free housing— menace II society (@yaint808) January 11, 2020
Naturally, there was also a fair amount of debate as to whether or not it is a real ad. It seems unlikely that someone would offer three months’ worth of L.A. rent in exchange for clipping toenails. Plus, if someone really had toenails that grow that quickly, they’d probably be making coin off in a lab somewhere.
I'm trying to figure out why they can't do it themselves lmao— DeBow♎ (@cummection) January 11, 2020
They can’t walk their because of the toenails— Cactus (@Adrien16551389) January 11, 2020
Whether any of this is true or not (and we’re going to bet “not”), it sure sparked a lot of fun replies. And if you’re only reading them here and not on Twitter, be grateful. We’ve spared you a ton of pictures of some really, really disgusting toenails.
Rachel Kiley is a writer who sometimes writes things and sometimes is based in L.A., but is definitely always on Twitter @rachelkiley.