Society

How to romance Martha Stewart online

What is Martha Stewart, now 71, looking for in a man? For starters, she doesn’t believe in the word “soulmate.”

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Gaby Dunn

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Do you want to date a billionaire? Of course you do. How about one who runs her own lifestyle empire and who spent some time in a white-collar prison for insider trading? Even if there’ve been rumors that she treats her staff kinda poorly and is super-anal about her offices?

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It’s your lucky day: Martha Stewart is on Match.com. She joined last week during a Today segment with Matt Lauer and Sam Yegen, CEO of Match and cofounder of OkCupid. (Oh, so that’s who to thank for that misery. I’ve got your name now, Yegen.)

“In the spirit of adventure” and to help promote her nephew Dan Slater’s new book, Love in the Time of Algorithms, Stewart agreed to try and find love online. She’d considered it for a while, she said, but was too afraid to actually sign up. At first, she wanted to include a photo of herself and her real name, but Yegen talked her out of it:

Only because I think it would be distracting to those initial conversations you have where everyone is going to be about talking to Martha, as opposed to really getting to know the person first.

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So what is Martha Stewart, now 71, looking for in a man? Well, she doesn’t believe in the word “soulmate” and she probably wouldn’t get married again. She mostly just wants “someone to sleep with” and “have breakfast with.” Girl, I hear that. Martha Stewart, y’all. She’s just like us!

Jezebel perused Match and found what the site is reporting to be Stewart’s actual online dating profile. Despite Yegen’s warning, Martha my dear couldn’t help dropping some hints to her celeb status: She mentions the name of her newest book, Living the Good Long Life, right in her intro and describes herself as “entrepreneurial, hard working, fun, adventurous.” She enjoys hiking, yoga, gardening, and antiques. She exercises five or more times a week (damn.) She also lists “horses” under pets. If this isn’t Martha Stewart, someone is doing a pretty good job trawling for men as Martha Stewart, which is a sentence I never thought I’d ever have to type.

The commenters on Jezebel think it’s her, too—and they recommend someone as vivacious as Stewart try and skew younger in the dating pool. Get yourself a boy toy, Martha! And someone tell Matt Lauer that not all perfectly coiffed 70-something billionaires are looking to get married. Does Martha Stewart look like she needs a man?

In the meantime, find that profile, ask her out, and make Martha Stewart some over-easy eggs in the morning. If you can handle the pressure.

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