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The internet is shaking its head the opioid tzar’s addiction advice.
Her solution? Eat those carbs, kids! Just snack your way right through the pain!
Speaking at White House millennial forum Generation Next on Thursday, Conway warned the youth of America about opioid abuse by suggesting they stop being so strict about their food consumption.
“On our college campuses, you folks are reading the labels. They won’t put any sugar in their body. They won’t eat carbs anymore, and they’re very, very fastidious about what goes into their body. And then you buy a street drug for five or 10 dollars. It’s laced with fentanyl and that’s it,” Conway said. “So I guess my short advice is, as somebody double your age: Eat the ice cream, have the french fry, don’t buy the street drug. Believe me, it all works out.”
I have to say, I am extremely on board with Conway’s overarching message: Eat what you want, folks! But as far as advice for staying away from opioids, let alone kicking addiction? You’d have to be pretty unknowledgeable as an “opioid czar” to seriously suggest “just eat” as an alternative to drug abuse. As HuffPost pointed out, Conway’s advice smells of President Donald Trump‘s suggested anti-drug campaign in the ’80s tenor of “just say no.”
The internet saw through Conway’s frail advice and called out just how uninformed her words of wisdom seemed to be.
Kellyanne Conway's advice for millennials about Fentanyl: "Eat the ice cream. Have the French fry. Don't buy the street drug. Believe me, it all works out."
— David Martosko (@dmartosko) March 22, 2018
it’s Thursday in the desolate Rust Belt, you know what that means: it’s time to eat a single french fry and avoid opiate addiction https://t.co/Y8J4B7NNqT
— [PhaZe2]XxHassidChrisKylexX (@ByYourLogic) March 22, 2018
"Leave the gun and the fentanyl. Take the cannolli." https://t.co/KWeckK1BqQ
— David A. Graham (@GrahamDavidA) March 22, 2018
— Unqualified Thespian (@dropkick_murray) March 22, 2018
Kellyanne Conway: Remember when Michelle HUSSEIN Obama told kids they should eat less sugar and more vegetables? That’s how the opioid crisis started. pic.twitter.com/tk3TiJ7B1J
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 23, 2018
For people who had become seriously injured and hooked on opioids as a result, changing their eating habits wasn’t going to make the pain disappear, many pointed out.
shattered your kneecap in an industrial accident? kill the excruciating pain with some delicious ice cream, or perhaps "the french fry" https://t.co/MLtSn8h7zS
— *NSYNC: hug me, okay? (@sheckyyoungman) March 22, 2018
When i broke ribs and punctured a lung, that's what they were giving me in ICU. it's not always a choice… A good chunk of opiate/heroin abuse is a byproduct of developed dependence to prescribed drugs
— Louis (@famouslou) March 22, 2018
Yep not how it works! Opioid addiction is largely because they're being prescribed to patients that need them in a way that's difficult to ween off!! Ice cream heals pain, I agree, but not to this extent! Nice try at the science thing tho! @KellyannePolls https://t.co/4qz9WCdkNk
— laina (@alainakallas) March 23, 2018
I really, really feel bad for addicts. Can you imagine looking for life-saving help & the people in charge give you this as a solution?
Believe me? Just don't buy it? It will all just work out? You're kidding right?
What a friggin' disgrace. https://t.co/7BHwSPbAGS
— Terry Hannan (@terryhannan) March 22, 2018
Others just mocked Conway’s poetic delivery.
remember when michelle made a vine to get kids to eat turnips https://t.co/AcIdcAkrIx
— Jake From the Statesman (@JakeHarris4) March 22, 2018
Ah yes, the common teen dilemma: buy dangerous street drugs or eat one french fry? https://t.co/yiO3sXbKnN
— Lincoln Michel (@TheLincoln) March 22, 2018
"Eat the ice cream. Have the French fry. Swallow the sadness. Smell the pain. Lick the wounds. Taste the flesh. Become the flesh. Transcend the flesh. Dance with the demons. Lay with the Devil. Don't buy the street drug. Believe me, it all works out."
— Rob Sheridan (@rob_sheridan) March 22, 2018
Eat the street drug, smoke the weed, don’t buy the French Fry
— Chad Guevara (@cutasterfee) March 22, 2018
Everything Kellyanne Conway says sounds like it should be preceded by a swig of a wine cooler and a long cigarette drag https://t.co/4QDxHvi0YJ
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) March 22, 2018
At least we know what impression Kate McKinnon will pull off on this weekend’s episode of Saturday Night Live.
Watch Conway’s misguided ice cream and french fry suggestion below:
Samantha Grasso is a former IRL staff writer for the Daily Dot with a reporting emphasis on immigration. Her work has appeared on Los Angeles Magazine, Death And Taxes, Revelist, Texts From Last Night, Austin Monthly, and she has previously contributed to Texas Monthly.