Rand Paul celebrates Festivus by airing grievances on Twitter

Here's some solid proof that Seinfeld holds bipartisan appeal.

 

Miles Klee

Tech

Published Dec 23, 2013   Updated May 31, 2021, 11:10 pm CDT

Did you know that it’s Festivus today? Because Senator Rand Paul sure did, and he seized the opportunity to indulge in the traditional “airing of grievances” mandated by the holiday’s inventor, Seinfeld’s Frank Costanza, via Twitter. Rather than criticize his embarrassed progeny, though, the libertarian-leaning Paul took aim at government.

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Airing of Grievances begins…

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

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In Washington, “bipartisan deal” is a synonym for “increasing our debt”

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

One party seems to like some of the Bill of Rights. The other party, some more. Few willing to stand up for the whole thing.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

After warming up a bit, Paul launched into attacks on the Federal Reserve, which turned 100 today.

Fed policies make you poorer, and hurt the poor and middle class the most. Ridiculous monetary policies increase the costs of goods.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

So you can thank the Fed for your grocery and gas bills getting out or control.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

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Far less boilerplate and more fascinating were Paul’s minor, personal gripes. (Burgoo, by the way, is apparently a sort of spicy stew, because what else could it possibly be.)

Minor grievance: I can never remember when to move my car for DC street cleaning.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

The Senate cafeteria never has burgoo.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

Grievance with my otherwise wonderful staff: leave the turtleneck alone. I like it and so do viewers.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

Alas, Paul declined to engage in other Festivus customs—he probably didn’t even put up a decorative pole.

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In response to some of your tweets, there will be no feats of strength, and I have no plans to end Festivus by wrestling with Senator Reid.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

The complaint session ended with a poke at Senator Cory Booker, one of the most popular politicians on Twitter—and, amazingly, after Booker challenged Rand to a non-Reid wrestling match, slipped into a serious discussion of the war on drugs.

One more Festivus grievance about bipartisanship. @CoryBooker doesn’t RT me enough.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

@CoryBooker how about mandatory minimum sentencing reform instead?

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

@CoryBooker I am the Senate author of Hemp bill!

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

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I know. U told me last week. Here is to a 2014 where we take on the failed war on drugs RT @SenRandPaul: I’m the Senate author of Hemp bill!

— Cory Booker (@CoryBooker) December 23, 2013

Now there’s a New Year’s resolution we’d like to see kept.

H/T Daily Intelligencer | Photo by circulating/Flickr

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*First Published: Dec 23, 2013, 2:12 pm CST