‘I finally feel seen by a man’: Guy explains why it’s tough to date women who have been single for a while—and the TikTok girlies feel seen

Éros Brousson, @gettothepointbro on TikTok, explained why it’s so hard to date a woman who’s been single for long enough to enjoy it in a video from April 20th that went viral with 8.1 million views. The video has 36.4 thousand comments, and an overwhelming number of women on the thread said they “finally feel seen by a man.” Although the audience in the comments was mainly women, Brousson’s advice conveyed one side of a man-to-man conversation meant to address a caricature of a man confused by the habits and desires of a woman living on her own terms. According to the comments section, Brousson said exactly what a brutally honest, self-actualizing woman might—if she could even be bothered to. 

Brousson is a content creator who describes himself as “French and bitter.” The croissant emoji is his emblem. 

The TikToker discusses topics from social media and culture in funny videos delivered in French-accented English deadpan. He is known for interrupting women’s long stories with comically brief summaries of the content, along with a ticker that lets viewers know how much time he’s saved them. Brousson’s latest posts include insights on dating and relationships that are similarly “to the point.” 

Brousson recently explained why it’s so difficult to date chronically single women.

‘You’re not part of the itinerary, Jonathan.’

Shot in his usual chat-to-camera style, Brousson claimed that some women have been single for so long that they don’t actually date anymore. They simply grant men “access to their peaceful little empire like a reluctant Queen handing you a visitor’s badge.”

Brousson then aimed the following advice at men who desperately need to manage their expectations.  

“You think you’re gonna be her boyfriend? She’s been sleeping diagonally in her bed for three years. She’s not giving up that territory because you opened the door and paid for a coffee.” He explained she loves the idea of you, but “your physical presence is kind of ruining my aesthetic.”

Brousson told the hypothetical clueless man that the long-term single woman is annoyed by sweet texts that interrupt her “journey.” She is dubious that a nice date with you could upstage a night in with sushi and her 12-step skincare routine. If you try to surprise her, you’ll find that you’ve interrupted her previously scheduled plans to drink wine in the bath and rewatch “Pride and Prejudice for emotional stability.” 

She’ll tell you, “You’re not part of the itinerary, Jonathan.”

The advice continued, warning men to avoid attempts at emotional intimacy because she’s already got it covered, and there’s no way you can compete with “the weighted blanket” or “her cat named Chairman Meow.” She does not need you. She is not thinking of you. “She just booked a solo trip to Iceland while you were still composing your, “Good Morning, beautiful” text. 

Brousson concluded, “Dating a girl who is used to being alone is not romance. It’s an extreme sport for your self-esteem.”

@gettothepointbro

DATING A GIRL WHO IS USED TO BE ALONE CAN BE VERY HARD .

♬ original sound – get to the point bro

‘I feel like this is the only man who truly understands me’

@kookykylie2 replied, “I finally feel seen by a man.”

“I don’t often offer this compliment to the mail species but you explained it better than I ever could,” commented @mynameismineso.

“I open my phone to my inner dialogue on TikTok and it has a French accent,” said @lawyerlizz.

“I feel like this is the only man who truly understands me,” said @zannahsue.

@r.ochelly commented, “Not a single thing said here is inaccurate. My life script in a video.”

“He knows too much,” said @amylouises_.

Even a happily married woman could relate.

@norkhadijahlatip commented, “I am married and love my husband but why do I agree to every one of these?”

People are watching Pride and Prejudice for emotional stability

Commenters said Brousson’s references were uncanny. Women discussed their cats, trusty weighted blankets, and solo trips to Iceland. Everyone has Pride and Prejudice on repeat.

“‘Rewatching Pride and Prejudice for emotional stability’ SO REAL,” said @yiliinglaozuweiwuxian.

“Just finished watching Pride and Prejudice in my peaceful little empire,” said @spacevuk.

“Turning off Pride and Prejudice because if anything, I hate being predictable,” said @cookiecrumblz79.

Are single women opting out of dating?

According to the Pew Research Center, more men are actively seeking relationships with women, while women are increasingly prioritizing their own independence. Gen-Z women in particular, are opting out of dating for various reasons including the pursuit of career and personal goals, the rise of alternative relationship structures, or privileging friendship and community over marriage and family. 

Women over 30 are another group who increasingly choose to remain single. Some within this group said they experienced dating fatigue via the rise and fall of the apps, or had already divorced once and are uninterested in trying again. 

The marriage rate in the US fell by 54% between 1900 and 2022. A significant portion of single women are not seeking marriage, possibly because of changing societal expectations. Women are capable of financial independence and have the opportunity to define their own values and aspirations. Marriage is now just one option among many socially acceptable choices. 

Women opting out of dating want peace

Brousson’s video hit with the girlies because it points to how women are de-centering men in their lives.  

Some women say they’re less interested in dating because it is exhausting, or even traumatizing, or that the political polarization between genders has left no common ground. Others are aligned with a cultural shift toward personal growth and are focused on self-development instead of dating. 

Many women simply feel misunderstood by men and won’t settle for men who don’t respect them. 

Misogyny and violence against women and femmes are everywhere, and societal norms can prevent men from building emotional awareness and pursuing connection. Andrew Tate and the “manosphere” are out here! 

But maybe there’s something about Brousson’s post that makes bridging the gap seem possible. In response, one user commented, “I’m glad they are finally paying attention.”

Maybe it’s not too late. 

@gettothepointbro did not immediately reply to the Daily Dot’s request for comment via email.

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