“You know what? Why don't we talk about something lighter, like… Ukraine?"
“I think I speak for everybody when I say no one cares. They just want to know if you’re running for president.”
"Magellan was an explorer. Chuck Yeager was an explorer. You guys have a f***ing camera on your face."
"Almost nine years ago I promised to change the world and, together...I did it."
Colbert is filling Letterman's shoes, but which Colbert, exactly?
He'll even warp that Billy Idol song for you.