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In the age of social media, it’s easy to turn to our many online friends and followers when we need help coming up with options for something like naming a pet, or maybe even a new baby. But if you do, it’s important to pay extra close attention to make sure the person so kindly giving you advice doesn’t have a hidden agenda.
A Twitter user by the handle of @endeylol certainly had something other than benevolence in mind when he suggested another user name his newborn child “Jack” earlier this year.
According to screenshots, @endeylol got his wish and the proud new father did just that.
LMFAOOO IM FUCKING DEAD pic.twitter.com/apEQGK7jju— endey (@endeylol) December 12, 2019
“Me and my wife are expecting our first born child in 2 months and we still don’t have a name LOL!” a Twitter user by the name of Greg Ingof wrote, per screenshots.
And there it is. Greg and Hila Ingof’s first son: Jack Ingof.
sound out the name— Maria 🌹 (@Mxriarose) December 12, 2019
The post blew up on Twitter, with many shocked and amazed at how easily a stranger, like, totally ruined this kid’s life.
“You just ended his life he just got here,” Twitter user @ImBuzzBunny bemoaned.
Another joked that while Jack will hate his full name in high school, he may come to “love it in his edgy 20s.”
You just ended his life he just got here. 😂😂😂😂😂— 🍻🐰 (@ImBuzzBunny) December 12, 2019
He'll hate it through high school but will love it in his edgy 20s— Shan0r (@Shan0rZwitscher) December 12, 2019
Smh I’m pray for that kid— Flirt_McGirt (@Worst_Guyz) December 13, 2019
Imagine seeing him as a grown adult, fully ripped with blood of a crook on his hands, coming to you and saying “Hi, I'm jack ingof”— SignalFire (@VicBossFaalGein) December 13, 2019
“so daddy, where’d my name come from?”— sexhaver69 (@JewelEDM) December 13, 2019
“are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you?”
imagine being the nurse that had to write jack ingof on a birth certificate and hand it to the parents with a straight face— pleading eyes emoji (@AladdinButUgly) December 13, 2019
As for the guy who suggested it all, he was sitting in his corner of the internet, cackling over the fact that he definitely destroyed any chance little Jack had at a normal life before he even opened his eyes.
I can't wait for that kid to get into high school LMFAOO— endey (@endeylol) December 12, 2019
I ruined his career before it even started LMFAOO— endey (@endeylol) December 12, 2019
Both the good news and the sad news is that the whole thing is most likely fake. Endey seems to run a satire account, and there’s no @GregIngof registered on Twitter nor are there any tweets directed at him prior to the date of Endey’s tweet featuring the screenshots.
There is, however, a @Greglngof account (that is, “Ingof” stylized with a lowercase “L” instead of an “I”) created this month for the clear purpose of playing along with the joke, and we’re loving the commitment.
Ah Fuck I've Been Fucking Obliterated By Someone On The Internet For Points— Greg Ingof (@Greglngof) December 12, 2019
The moral of the story remains the same: Name your kid yourself, and ask many to vet the name before you commit it to a birth certificate. Please, think of the children.
Rachel Kiley is a writer who sometimes writes things and sometimes is based in L.A., but is definitely always on Twitter @rachelkiley.