Man seeks relationship advice on Reddit about his egg-obsessed girlfriend

The relationships subreddit, home to the terrible and utterly weird alike, has come through for us with another deeply surreal relationship problem: a man’s otherwise perfect girlfriend is so obsessed with eggs that it’s ruining their relationship. But not eggs in the fertility sense, which would be a fairly mundane problem, oh no. This woman is so obsessed with boiled eggs that it’s led Twitter users to theorize that she might actually be a snake in disguise.

Eating anywhere between four and fifteen eggs a day—which can’t be healthy—OP’s girlfriend also leaves bits of them everywhere. Carpets, furniture, the car, even the cat have all had bits of eggy detritus clinging to them on a regular basis. Recently, she put a half-eaten egg in his coat pocket, getting egg all over the laundry in the wash, and left one on the passenger seat in the car, leading to him sitting on it before a job interview and getting egg all over his pants. After confronting her about this, she accused him of being controlling and trying to dictate what she eats, but he doesn’t want her to stop eating the eggs—just clean up properly after herself. At this point, it sounds like a shitpost, something at least a couple of redditors agreed on.

However, OP has since deleted both the post and his account, suggesting that egg woman is all too real and the amount of attention the post was getting made him afraid she was going to find out that he’d posted about it on the internet. Sadly for him, the internet wasn’t especially helpful as, while a few people did try to give him actual advice, the problem was too absurd for most people to take it seriously.

https://twitter.com/seunghynb/status/1166030749222486016

People were horror-fascinated by her eggy lifestyle and wondering about its effects on her digestive system.

As well as confused by the fact that she frequently doesn’t eat the whole egg and leaves bits of it laying around. As Twitter user @RoeVWadeBoggs says, “how godamned hard is it to finish an egg”.

https://twitter.com/RoeVWadeBoggs/status/1166039559668490240

Some theorized she’s actually trying to communicate with him in a very roundabout way.

And OP took some criticism for not removing the damn egg before he put the jacket in the washing machine.

The “OP’s girlfriend is secretly a reptile” conspiracy theory gained some real legs, especially on Twitter where the story of egg woman has found its true home.

With OP’s girlfriend is actually Gaston coming in second place.

The puns won’t stop.

And people think egg woman should hook up with the yogurt guy.

Wherever he is, we hope OP works things out with his snake wife.

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Siobhan Ball

Siobhan Ball

Siobhan Ball is a historian, archivist, and journalist. She also writes for Autostraddle and bi.org