Bartenders have to deal with a lot of strange requests from customers.
From customers who try to pay for their drink with drugs, to patrons with oddly specific requests, to people who try to game the system for free drinks, working as a bartender leaves one with many stories about just how out there some people can be.
Now, a bartender has shared a viral story about a customer who requested a non-alcoholic version of a drink. The only problem? That drink was a dry martini—a drink composed almost entirely of alcohol.
“I was like, ‘OK, well, so, what do you want to substitute the vodka for?’” recalls TikTok user Tim (@_tvb11) in a video with over 3.6 million views. “She was like, ‘What do you mean?’”
This led to a back-and-forth between Tim and the patron while he tried to figure out exactly what the woman was requesting. The woman, as it turns out, was ordering for a friend and was unable to answer many of Tim’s follow-up questions.
“She was like, ‘OK, can’t you just do more of the mixer?’” Tim says. “I was like, ‘Well, there’s no mixer in a basic martini. Are you talking about, like, an espresso martini? Or do you want, like, a peach martini or something?’ And she’s like, ‘No, no, no—just, like, a regular martini, but dry.’ And I was like, ‘OK, cool, that doesn’t really help me much.’”
Eventually, Tim settled on a solution—two and a half ounces of water paired with half an ounce of olive brine (Tim misstates this in the video as vermouth, though he clarified in the comments that he intended to say olive brine).
After a while, the woman’s friend arrived and was immediately disappointed by the drink. As it turns out, she had requested a “non-chocolate espresso martini”—a request that also perplexed Tim, as espresso martinis also do not typically contain chocolate.
The original woman affirmed that this drink order made more sense, as “she drinks all the time.”
“I hate people,” Tim concludes.
@_tvb11 …what if I went live tonight? #bartendingstories ♬ Yacht Club – MusicBox
In the comments section, users were equally perplexed by the prospect of a non-alcoholic martini.
“The way I would’ve just poured straight olive juice in there and asked no questions,” said a commenter.
“That’s like ordering a nonalcoholic Long Island iced tea… so you just want a splash of coke?” offered another.
“I’d legit give them a cold martini glass with a only a lemon twist in it,” stated a third.
However, some users claimed that the follow-up request actually made sense.
In response to a comment about chocolate not being in espresso martinis, one user wrote: “Typically there’s not but some bars will put chocolate bitters or make it w/ a cocoa liqueur. I’m allergic to chocolate so I always check just incase.”
The Daily Dot reached out to Tim via Instagram direct message.