A Reddit post by a new mother asking if she overreacted to her disappointed in-laws is getting an overwhelming “nope” from readers. According to the OP, she and her husband decided they didn’t want anyone else coming to the hospital on the day of their baby’s birth. This didn’t sit well with some of the nearby family.
Her father-in-law ended up sending them a late-night text saying he felt disappointed in them for not responding to a previous message. This resulted in a huge family fight that ruined what should have been an amazing day for the mom.
The disappointed dad
In a popular post on the r/AmIOverreacting forum, the Redditor shared the two text messages from her father-in-law. The OP claims she and her husband didn’t see the first one because they were too busy having a baby. The initial text said he wanted to talk about “how it all went down.”
Later that night, the father-in-law ran out of patience when they didn’t text back.
“I have to say I am very disappointed that you couldn’t give your mother and father five minutes of your time on the day your child was born,” the second text reads.
The new mom, exhausted after two days of giving birth and dealing with complications, didn’t appreciate the remark.
“How would you react reading this text after birthing a baby and no sleep for close to 48 hours?” she asked readers.
A long day ending in hurt
The OP called the day of her baby’s birth “crazy” and said hospital staff had to address some “medical issues.” She claims that they honestly didn’t see the first message until late that night.
“When he sent his last text message to us minutes before midnight we were confused because we didn’t know he wanted a call, and we were also very hurt,” she wrote. “Instead of being proud of us, he was disappointed in us. Instead of ending the day of my baby’s birth on an absolute high, I was let down, I crashed from that message.”
The fallout from that day continued on for months, unresolved even after they went to family therapy. The OP says she and her husband “decided to relent” because her in-laws refused to accept they’d done anything wrong.
“The apology I got was ‘I’m sorry for the timing of my text message but I would have sent it first thing the following morning if I waited.’”
Although the mom admits her hurt feelings may have been amplified by her postpartum state, she says it stings all the more because her mom passed away and her dad lives far from her. She’d hoped to grow closer to her nearby in-laws with the birth of her baby. Now, they’ve hardly spoken in three months.
“I’m just feeling deeply hurt and betrayed,” she concludes.
Reactions: ‘A massive loss on their part’
The OP has deleted her post and Reddit account. However, X user @ask_aubry captured and reposted the drama for her followers on March 10. The Reddit comments also remain. On both platforms, readers overwhelmingly sided with the OP.
Some feel that the new mom is better off without family that treats her so poorly.
“It’s them, it’s always been them,” writes @PhaedraGoddess. “They’ve never done any resolving or selfreflection, not when their son was growing up nor now with the birth of their grandchild.”
“I understand her wanting to establish a better relationship with them, but some people are just not to be reasoned with. She’s never going to get the relationship or the understanding she wants from them. A massive loss on their part.”
Even more commenters were proud of the OP in her father-in-law’s stead for getting through that without losing her cool.
“Oh, how I want to wrap up that new mom and give her all the love and gold stars she deserves,” says @ClaireGregowicz. “She brought a whole human into this world, and she was chastised for not being up for visitors at their convenience? Brutal. She deserved so much better.”
Don’t mess with a postpartum mom
Back on Reddit, users advised the OP to refuse contact with her in-laws, including with the new baby, until or unless they apologized properly.
“With comments like that, I’d be hard-pressed to tell them they’re not allowed over until they fix their attitudes,” said u/Best-Astronaut. “You are postpartum. Your feelings are delicate right now and all that matters is your baby, you, and your hubby. They are not entitled to your family, they are privileged by it.”
Those who have experienced the birthing process themselves felt especially offended by the in-laws’ behavior.
“I’m almost 40 years postpartum, and this infuriated me. How could anybody – especially a grandparent – think this message was appropriate to send? Seriously, what the hell?” u/Anonymoosehead123 wrote. “Don’t chase them to repair the relationships – you and your husband have done nothing wrong.”
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