When bartender Hannah Borsenik arrived to work a wedding shift, she was told she couldn’t put out a tip jar. Her TikTok post about the policy, captioned “This labor isn’t, free people,” drew nearly 600,000 views and unleashed a fierce etiquette debate.
While many agreed service workers deserve tips, others called tip jars at weddings “tacky” and argued that the couple should cover gratuity. Borsenik’s follow-up revealed a bigger issue: even when contracts include gratuity, that money doesn’t always reach the bartenders.
Borsenik’s Aug 1, 2025, post reignited the tipping debate and revealed, yet again, that people on both sides of the divide are passionate about their respective positions. However, commenters across the divide assumed the bartender would be paid per the venue’s contract with the couple, which included a flat gratuity fee. According to a follow-up video from Borsenik and other service industry pro’s in the comments, this just isn’t true.
“Just so everyone knows, just because you leave a gratuity on your contract does NOT mean it goes to the bartenders or the hourly staff at all.”
Ultimately, service industry advocates went as far as hinting at wage theft while less sympathetic commenters called people who work for tips “entitled.”
“Tip jars at weddings are tacky,” say critics
Borsenik posted a photo of herself behind the bar with her thumb up. Onscreen text read, “Bartending a wedding, and they just told me I’m not allowed to have a tip jar.” The post has nearly 600 thousand views and over a thousand comments.
TikTok users commenting on Borsenik’s initial post said tip jars at weddings are “tacky.” Commenters asserted bartenders be paid by the couple or wedding party—not guests. Events professionals commented that gratuity is included in the contract to ensure a comfortable guest experience and implied that the money is passed on to service workers.
“That’s pretty standard. That’s why we charge 2k + because it’s in the price. Tip jars at formal events are tacky, and most people aren’t carrying cash anyway.”
But what if the contracted gratuity is not passed on to hourly employees? One comment pointed out, “Not tipping the bartender at a wedding is also tacky.”
Industry workers hint at wage theft in wedding venues
Borsenik addressed backlash from commenters in an Aug 6 post with over 20,000 views. The event venue bartender explained she’s not ‘double dipping.’ She responded to a comment from @patriciamcauley1949 that read, “Gratuity was included in the contract. Don’t lie. Asking guests to tip is tacky.”
She explained she’s paid a predetermined hourly wage, and her pay doesn’t include tips from the venue on top of that. If the venue’s contract with the bride and groom included gratuity, that money is not passed on to Borsenik. She said her bosses are “amazing,” and added that they typically allow her to have a tip jar, so she was surprised when the wedding party wouldn’t allow it.
@hannyb11 Replying to @Patricia Mcauley ♬ original sound – hannyb
Commenters considered the additional context and determined that Borsenik should find a new job or renegotiate her wage with the employer.
“If you’re not getting a gratuity included and the hourly rate is low, then you need to find a better job.”
“This is a convo to have w/ your employer. Industry standard is any venue or buyout has grat included or an hourly rate above minimum wage. Cash bar is different, but an open bar tip jar screams somebody isn’t being paid fairly.”
“Your amazing boss might be getting a 20% tip and keeping it.”
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