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- A ‘Black Mirror’ spinoff mini-series is coming to YouTube via Netflix Latin America Friday 5:56 PM
- Kanye West appears on David Letterman’s Netflix show to talk Trump, TMZ, and Drake Friday 3:27 PM
- QAnon believers link small-town arrest to deep state conspiracy without evidence Friday 1:58 PM
- Instagram photos showing prison conditions spark massive protest Friday 1:33 PM
- ‘Gay rat wedding’ headline sparks amazing new meme Friday 1:03 PM
- ‘I read a gossip piece’ meme mocks Moby’s Instagram post Friday 12:39 PM
- Rotten Tomatoes wants to see your ticket stub to leave a verified review Friday 11:46 AM
- ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ movie delayed to 2020 to fix his look Friday 11:39 AM
- ‘Swamp Thing’ gets off to a promising start, but can it tell a convincing love story? Friday 11:34 AM
- ‘Falling on deaf ears’: ‘Queer Eye’ star sparks conversation about ableist idioms Friday 11:15 AM
- Parents are spending thousands on YouTube camps that teach kids how to be famous Friday 10:43 AM
- In season 2 of ‘She’s Gotta Have It,’ Spike Lee remains unapologetically himself Friday 10:36 AM
- Trump selling Pride shirts is a grotesque insult to the LGBTQ community Friday 10:27 AM
- Logan Paul is being mocked for pulling out of slapping competition Friday 9:57 AM
Cool new conspiracy theory: Lady Gaga’s Super Bowl halftime show was a Satanic ritual
Alex Jones has it all figured out.
By most accounts, Lady Gaga‘s Super Bowl halftime show was the inclusive, non-controversial pop spectacle our divided country needed. But conservative conspiracy theorist Alex Jones saw right through the wall of diverse dancers and the welcoming message of “Born This Way” to the real truth: The halftime show was a Satanist ritual foisted upon us by the Illuminati. Sure. Of course.
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It’s not clear what he means by “admittedly,” because Pizzagate is a ridiculous hoax that Lady Gaga hasn’t publicly commented on, but let’s see where he’s going with this.
“She wears meat suits and does all these rituals—Madonna does it too—and the organizers of the Super Bowl are deciding to defile America and break our will by having us bow down to this.”
Jones claims the implicit message of Gaga’s performance, particularly her use of drones, was “I am the goddess of Satan, ruling over you with the rise of the robots, in a ritual of lesser magic.”
That’s weird, because the explicit message of the performance, the one Gaga literally sang, was “Rejoice and love yourself today /’Cause baby you were born this way.”
Definitely a narrative of political domination from the New World Order. No doubt about it.
The real Illuminati conspiracy that needs investigating is how the Patriots managed to come back from a 25-point deficit to win the Super Bowl. Do you think it’s a coincidence that Tom Brady‘s magical performance occurred entirely after Lady Gaga’s halftime “ritual”? Commissioner Goodell, please look into this.
Jay Hathaway is a former senior writer who specialized in internet memes and weird online culture. He previously served as the Daily Dot’s news editor, was a staff writer at Gawker, and edited the classic websites Urlesque and Download Squad. His work has also appeared on nymag.com, suicidegirls.com, and the Morning News.