Cool new conspiracy theory: Lady Gaga’s Super Bowl halftime show was a Satanic ritual

lady gaga halftime satanic ritual super bowl

Screengrab via NFL/YouTube

Alex Jones has it all figured out.

By most accounts, Lady Gaga‘s Super Bowl halftime show was the inclusive, non-controversial pop spectacle our divided country needed. But conservative conspiracy theorist Alex Jones saw right through the wall of diverse dancers and the welcoming message of “Born This Way” to the real truth: The halftime show was a Satanist ritual foisted upon us by the Illuminati. Sure. Of course. 

[Placeholder for https://www.facebook.com/AlexanderEmerickJones/videos/10155037527993459/ video embed.]

“Now we hear about Lady Gaga, who was admittedly part of the whole Pizzagate thing, with the Spirit Cooking lady, the Aleister Crowley event,” Jones said in a Facebook video before the game.

It’s not clear what he means by “admittedly,” because Pizzagate is a ridiculous hoax that Lady Gaga hasn’t publicly commented on, but let’s see where he’s going with this. 

“She wears meat suits and does all these rituals—Madonna does it too—and the organizers of the Super Bowl are deciding to defile America and break our will by having us bow down to this.”

Hmmm.

Jones claims the implicit message of Gaga’s performance, particularly her use of drones, was “I am the goddess of Satan, ruling over you with the rise of the robots, in a ritual of lesser magic.”

That’s weird, because the explicit message of the performance, the one Gaga literally sang, was “Rejoice and love yourself today /’Cause baby you were born this way.” 

Definitely a narrative of political domination from the New World Order. No doubt about it. 

The real Illuminati conspiracy that needs investigating is how the Patriots managed to come back from a 25-point deficit to win the Super Bowl. Do you think it’s a coincidence that Tom Brady‘s magical performance occurred entirely after Lady Gaga’s halftime “ritual”? Commissioner Goodell, please look into this.

H/T Independent

Jay Hathaway

Jay Hathaway

Jay Hathaway is a former senior writer who specialized in internet memes and weird online culture. He previously served as the Daily Dot’s news editor, was a staff writer at Gawker, and edited the classic websites Urlesque and Download Squad. His work has also appeared on nymag.com, suicidegirls.com, and the Morning News.