Da Share Z0ne is a Twitter account about things that are fucking cool, not stupid-ass “memes,” like the rest of the internet. Nearly every image has a skull, skeleton, or some kind of fire in it. Nearly every caption features ten different novelty typefaces and an artful cuss.
Da Share Z0ne is the best Twitter account of 2016, and it’s not even close.
dasharez0ne is best new twitter of 2016— 2020 Democratic Primary Remake (@PontiusPyrite) June 27, 2016
Da Share Z0ne only follows three people: Harley-Davidson Motorcycles, the band AC/DC, and a misspelled Eminem account. It calls them “the holy three.” Of course.
It’s only ever liked one tweet: Happy Holidays from Kid Rock, 2010.
happy holidays— Kid Rock (@KidRock) December 23, 2010
The beauty of Da Share Z0ne lies in its universal appeal. Its humor crosses cliquish social boundaries, and its jokes are retweeted by everyone from Weird Twitter chuckleboys to cool, queer, indie gamers to dry and boring media-marketing types.
But how is it so damn good? Mainly by cranking its irony levels up so high that conventional instruments can’t even measure them. How many levels of irony is your favorite Twitter account on—five or six? Da Share Z0ne is simply on MAX:
You would expect a skeletal badass who is constantly afire to hold views that are, perhaps, not progressive. Perhaps you would assume a flaming skeleton in a cowboy hat to be the undead, human equivalent of the Confederate Battle Flag.
In fact, Da Share Z0ne is the opposite: in its best tweets, it explicitly performs “wokeness.”
The other component of Da Share Z0ne’s MAX irony is that the tough-ass skeleton who calls everyone “bitch” also suffers from acute anxiety and has irritable bowel syndrome.
I CANT STAND THIS!!! pic.twitter.com/l3HlryguP3— da share z0ne (@dasharez0ne) June 17, 2016
And when that’s not happening, he’s fucking up basic social situations in awkward, un-tough ways:
IM NOT THE ONE WHOSE WEIRD ON THIS… TRUST ME pic.twitter.com/bxLGgN6d8O— da share z0ne (@dasharez0ne) June 15, 2016
A character-driven Twitter account hasn’t blended macho attitude and complete personal dysfunction this perfectly since the heyday of Karl Welzein (a.k.a @Dadboner), a divorced, middle-aged Detroit dude who loves to rock hard and scope babes, but mainly hangs around the parking lot at Applebee’s. That character, written by comedian Mike Burns, has fallen off the radar a bit since he landed a book deal in 2013, but Karl’s 2011-2012 adventures constitute the greatest extended work of fiction Twitter has ever seen.What Da Share Z0ne might lack in narrative, it makes up for in characterization, recurring jokes, and consistently high quality. The character behind the skeleton knows he’s running Twitter and Facebook accounts, and has a grandiose sense of his own popularity:
And sometimes he breaks the fourth wall by having problems with software:
C:UsersDAMFZONEDesktopFuCKinGbAD_ass_FOnTS_Xx-Vad3r-xX.exe.rar pic.twitter.com/oz66pa2Xvk— da share z0ne (@dasharez0ne) June 5, 2016
Or accidentally typing Google searches into Twitter:
TOM COCHRANE BASS TABS REAL 2014— da share z0ne (@dasharez0ne) June 11, 2016
He had an elderly cat called Boodleheimer who died recently. R.I.P. Boodleheimer.
ACT ODD GET CLAWED BITCH pic.twitter.com/fuiVY1r3GU— da share z0ne (@dasharez0ne) June 11, 2016
MISS YOU EVERY DAY BUDDY… HOPE SHIT IS GOING GOOD FOR YOU WHEREVER YOU ARE pic.twitter.com/5QLitZ5TJi— da share z0ne (@dasharez0ne) June 7, 2016
And he’s always tired, but strong:
Other recurring themes include wanting to cut off his own dick, trying to find accurate Tom Cochrane “Life is a Highway” bass tabs, playing video games, and taking SSRIs. There’s a little something for everyone!
And the graphic design? It’s that kissy-finger-thing you see Italian chefs do! Dozens of free or bootleg fonts, sometimes in the same image. Every image watermarked, but a different watermark every time. And a seemingly limitless supply of skeletal artwork. Some it comes from Flickr and DeviantArt. One time, he used a Magic: The Gathering card. But more than 600 tweets in, he hasn’t run out of angry bone-daddies with armor and smoking eyes. It’s truly incredible to see.
Unfortunately, the person—or, we’ve heard, multiple people—behind Da Share Z0ne aren’t ready to reveal themselves. They did not respond to the Daily Dot’s request for comment.
You might assume we’re disappointed about that, but we’re actually just grateful that we didn’t get posterized like these other “blog fucks thirsty for content dicc”:
We’ll continue to be loyal readers. Tired, but strong.