The playlist is one of the most important things to any journey: road tripping across numerous state lines, falling in love with “the one,” and, of course, running for president of the United States of America. And we’re sorry, Hillary, but your list just ain’t lit.
Getting that youth vote is huge for the 2016 election, so social media is all the rage. The Republican candidates are flocking to Snapchat. Hillary has joined Instagram. And now, her campaign is trying its hand at a Spotify playlist.
It definitely appears like Hillary and her squad of campaigners are trying to appeal to young people. But what’s up with this bogus playlist? Thankfully, we have it covered with the biggest mistakes of this group of tracks.
1) Having “Roar” and “Brave” on the same playlist is blasphemy
Yes, both tracks are by pop songstressescrooning about being confident or whatever. But never forget the 2013 mell0w-drama of the two songs sounding pretty much identical. It seems that Katy and Sarah are chill with another, but really having both their songs on the same playlist is kind of inconsiderate. It’s like inviting two people to the same function when you know they’re going to be wearing the same pantsuit.
2) We’re over “Happy”
Please stop playing it. It was great the first 521,781 times, but now we have “Uptown Funk” to play when we need to please the crowd.
3) There’s no Hilary Duff
Having zero of the ex-Lizzie McGuire star is pretty much the biggest lost opportunity of her campaign. When Clinton announced she’d be running for president, the Internet (and especially the youth) ran amuck with creating Hilary Duff memes. Having “Why Not” or “Hey Now” on the playlist would have an instant hit. Because winning the presidential election really is what dreams are made of.
4) Having “Break Free” is just kind of hilarious
The song from Ariana Grande is definitely a banger, but just thinking about the lyric “becoming who I really are” in conjunction with Hillary Clinton makes me giggle.
5) Ends with “Vivir Mi Vida”
Don’t get me wrong, “Vivir Mi Vida” is definitely a lot of fun. But it just feels a little off-brand for Hillary to end with. And along with having Jennifer Lopez‘s “Let’s Get Loud,” she seems to be pandering to the Latino community pretty hard. Might as well throw some Enrique Iglesias or Selena into the mix.
6) Needs Nick Jonas
There’s been mixed feelings about the “Yaaas, Hillary!” shirt for sale on Clinton’s site. Some people love and it, and others hate it, but at the end of the day, the way to the gay male’s hearts and votes is Nick Jonas‘s abs. He was even kind enough to swoop in to replace Iggy Azalea at the Pittsburgh Pride concert after she bailed.
7) “Hot For Hillary” is a must have
Back in 2007, YouTuber Taryn Hollywood made a music video for her track “Hot For Hillary” in vein of the “Crush On Obama” video that went viral. And, like, honestly, it just needs some more love. Hillary should have definitely used this viral gold for musical momentum.
So Hill, if you’re really down for change, mix up some of that Spotify playlist you have going on. Speaking of which, why is the recently played artist on your official Spotify page The Meters?
H/T Death and Taxes | Illustration by Max Fleishman