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Gwen Stefani, singer/designer/co-founder of No Doubt, was born on October 3, 1969. She is 46 years old but looks way younger.
Gwen stefani looks 25 at the oldest
— cynical (@midwestfvckup) February 16, 2016
Exactly. Gwen has kept her youthful exuberance since she first stepped out into the scene with the “Just a Girl” video.
On the flipside, Ted Cruz, politician/weird face haver, was born on December 22, 1970. He is 45 years old.
I’m sorry but Ted Cruz face is hilarious
— Rae (@muslimsluttt) March 8, 2016
Let’s put Ted Cruz’s facial features aside for the moment, because there’s a bigger fish to fry here: Somehow Gwen Stefani is older than him.
“WTF!” you’re most likely saying right now “How is this scientifically possible?” Well, my dear confused friend, it is not scientifically possible, which is why the rest of the world is freaking out about it as well.
This young lady wants to end her life because of it:
Today I found out Gwen Stefani is older than Ted Cruz… I want to die
— cameron (@magickbullet) February 27, 2016
This shocking revelation required all caps:
GWEN STEFANI’S OLDER THAN TED CRUZ?
— kaileigh (@kaimurph13) February 26, 2016
Here’s a theory that makes far more sense than Gwen Stefani being older than Ted Cruz:
Gwen stefani is older than Ted Cruz. Stress causes aging. The stress of hiding from the world that you’re the zodiac killer for example…
— Indianajonze (@indianajonze) March 5, 2016
This guy is not overreacting at all:
Gwen Stefani is older than Ted Cruz.
I will never trust anything in this world again.
— ℳattucci (@matttomic) March 1, 2016
While this woman perfectly summed up the meaning of life:
Cleopatra lived closer to the building of Pizza Hut than of the pyramids. Ted Cruz is younger than Gwen Stefani. Time isn’t real & nothing m
— madison (@goformadison) February 18, 2016
This math is off, but it somehow doesn’t matter in the grand scope of things:
Ted Cruz is two years younger than Gwen Stefani
— Julia Abramson (@JuliaAbramson) October 29, 2015
So what can we learn from all of this? Absolutely nothing. Life makes zero sense—sorry about that.
Screengrabs via Giphy