He is at Mar-a-Lago, which he dubbed the “Winter White House,” but what most people took notice of was him using a pen and pad of paper for his speech.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 18, 2017
Now, there’s nothing wrong with that. Not a word in the Constitution says inaugural speeches need to be composed on Microsoft Word, and Teddy Roosevelt didn’t bother with a MacBook Air before taking to the bully pulpit.
But a few people noticed the paper appeared to be… blank.
That’s alright. Two days out and nothing composed? Lincoln didn’t have his Gettysburg Address finished until the train ride up.
But since he didn’t show anything, everyone took to Twitter to dream what might be on the pad.
The internet consensus? Well, this being the internet, it was dicks.
Obvious but necessary. YW. pic.twitter.com/M8f9xtcTON
— brian abrams (@BrianAbrams) January 18, 2017
— Hacksaw Gerry Duggan (@GerryDuggan) January 18, 2017
Not necessarily wrong. The guy did mention his penis while campaigning more often than any other candidate in modern American history.
Some went the less obvious route.
There’s the Simpsons comparison.
— Steve McPherson (@steventurous) January 18, 2017
“Name’s Trump. Donald Trump, and I’ve been president in Brockway, Ogdenville, Nothern Haverbrook, and I’ve made them great again.”
Others assumed a severe case of writer’s block.
Perhaps he was doodling middle school symbols
— eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) January 18, 2017
Was he penning his own sordid, modern, illustrated, Dostoevsky-esque romance?
— Asa Bennett (@asabenn) January 18, 2017
Or was it just the efforts of a toddler?
wow looks great pic.twitter.com/kRxMCN4yLB
— elisabeth jakovenko (@esjesj) January 18, 2017
And what if he’s gone mad?
— Comedy Central (@ComedyCentral) January 18, 2017
Or is out of ideas?
— Simon Deverell (@simondeverell) January 18, 2017
One thing is for certain. We won’t have to wait long to find out what is on the pad (Gwyneth Paltrow’s HEAD???). His speech is this Friday.
It probably won’t involve dicks.