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Everyone has a theory about what was on Donald Trump’s notepad
Was he writing, or was he doodling?
He is at Mar-a-Lago, which he dubbed the “Winter White House,” but what most people took notice of was him using a pen and pad of paper for his speech.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with that. Not a word in the Constitution says inaugural speeches need to be composed on Microsoft Word, and Teddy Roosevelt didn’t bother with a MacBook Air before taking to the bully pulpit.
But a few people noticed the paper appeared to be… blank.
That’s alright. Two days out and nothing composed? Lincoln didn’t have his Gettysburg Address finished until the train ride up.
But since he didn’t show anything, everyone took to Twitter to dream what might be on the pad.
The internet consensus? Well, this being the internet, it was dicks.
Not necessarily wrong. The guy did mention his penis while campaigning more often than any other candidate in modern American history.
Some went the less obvious route.
There’s the Simpsons comparison.
“Name’s Trump. Donald Trump, and I’ve been president in Brockway, Ogdenville, Nothern Haverbrook, and I’ve made them great again.”
Others assumed a severe case of writer’s block.
Perhaps he was doodling middle school symbols
Was he penning his own sordid, modern, illustrated, Dostoevsky-esque romance?
Or was it just the efforts of a toddler?
And what if he’s gone mad?
Or is out of ideas?
One thing is for certain. We won’t have to wait long to find out what is on the pad (Gwyneth Paltrow’s HEAD???). His speech is this Friday.
It probably won’t involve dicks.
David Covucci is the Layer 8 editor at the Daily Dot, covering the intersection of politics and the web. His work has appeared in Vice, the Huffington Post, Jezebel, Gothamist, and other publications. He is particularly interested in hearing any tips you have. Reach out at [email protected]