upset young Black woman


Black TikToker says she had to undergo ‘suicide evaluation’ after beloved teacher says the N-word

'She took a pause before she said it, so she clearly meant it.'


Kahron Spearman

Internet Culture

Posted on Sep 16, 2021   Updated on Sep 20, 2021, 12:04 pm CDT

This post details talk of suicide.

In a viral TikTok video, a Black TikToker describes having to undergo a suicide evaluation after a beloved teacher of hers said the N-word during a class discussion.

@olivia2005nicole2 posted the video, which shows her in front of a greenscreen. It doesn’t show any faces during the conversation, though it provides audio of a contentious discussion around race.

“It’s not even the right flag; it’s literally rooted in racism,” an apparent student says to the teacher, unseen in the recording. The TikToker later explained the “flag” was the “Confederate Flag” in the comments.

“So does [N-word]!” exclaims the teacher. “They are both rooted in racism, y’all.”

The audio ends, and the TikToker goes on to describes the teacher who made the remarks as someone she “loved so much” and visited “every morning.”

She further explains that she “sat next to the girl that recorded it” and that she left school and went home after she had to have “a suicide evaluation after [she and the teacher] had that talk.”

She continues: “It is what it is. I’m tired. I’m so tired. I had to quit my job because a white woman called me that word. That word, it hurts people. I don’t understand how a professional can say that in a room where you know Black people will be present. That is a teacher I visit every single morning, and I call her mom, and I give her hugs.”

She then says she lost a best friend whose boyfriend called her the racial slur.

“I don’t understand y’all’s obsession with the word,” she say. “This is stupid; you are an educator. She took a pause before she said it, so she clearly meant it. It’s out of my hands.”

The post has added to the realities in mental and emotional health for Black students dealing with racially insensitive conversations and micro-aggressions in the classroom. It’s received over 181,000 views and 2,400 comments so far.

One of the top comments reads, “the teacher felt a little too comfortable saying the word.”

Another wrote: “They always says ‘it’s just a word,’ but if it really was just a word, they wouldn’t wanna say it so damn badly.”

The Daily Dot reached out to @olivia2005nicole2 for comment.

For more information about suicide prevention or to speak with someone confidentially, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.) or Samaritans (U.K.).

If you are a teen dealing with depression or other mental health issues, see for a list of resources and organizations that can help you. If you are an adult, see Mental Health Resources.

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*First Published: Sep 16, 2021, 2:28 pm CDT