Warning: This article contains spoilers for the final episode of True Blood.
True Blood finally received True Death after seven long and crazy seasons, but it left fans less than satisfied.
The Sopranos series finale’s abrupt cut to black sparked outrage and debate in 2007, launching a new era of Internet scrutiny when it comes to the final episode of big TV shows. (Of course we were griping about series finales long before that. We’re look at you, Seinfeld.) You have the satisfying with Breaking Bad, the mixed reviews with Lost, and in more recent memory, the abysmal with Dexter and How I Met Your Mother. If the Internet is any indicator, True Blood’s finale will go hand-in-hand with the lattermost.
In True Blood standards, it was a rather tame episode in a series that saw a vampire rip out the heart of a news anchor on live television, nudity, nudity, and more nudity, werepanthers, and even a vampire-esque concentration camp. The final episode featured no nudity, most of the bad guys got what they deserved, mostly everyone ended up happy in the end, and there was only one major death: the ever-noble (and sometimes ever-frustrating) Bill Compton, already dying from Hepatitis V, who got staked by love Sookie Stackhouse after she refused to use the last of her faery light to give herself a more human life.
The show promised to return to its roots this season, and when episodes are almost constantly marked by death and danger, the lack of it deprived the episode of much of its tension. For some the end of the series felt downright dull.
Dear #TrueBlood can I have the last few seasons of my life back?
— Bonnie Datt (@BonnieDatt) August 25, 2014
I suppose it’s only fitting that true blood had the worst final episode that it could possibly muster
— matt (@mattbuchanan) August 25, 2014
In case anyone cares whether or not the #TrueBlood finale is any good… I just went to the bathroom and didn’t bother to pause the DVR.
— Andrew Sims (@sims) August 25, 2014
But the dullness of it all wasn’t the only thing the Internet found wrong with it.
As soon as the final credits aired, the Dexter comparisons started rolling in and people quickly voiced their displeasure at what they just watched.
Dear Dexter. Please hand back your award for Worst Finale Series. #TrueBlood is waiting for it.
— John Arnold (@Son_of_Les) August 25, 2014
— Ryan Kearney (@ryankearney76) August 25, 2014
— Mark Johnson (@MJAwardsCircuit) August 25, 2014
They definitely wanted their money back.
— Eric Junior (@ericjunior) August 25, 2014
— Jeffrey Emmette (@JeffreyEmmette) August 25, 2014
— Liz Long (@LizCLong) August 25, 2014
Hoyt and Jessica only reunited last episode, but they were already getting married. Surrounded by family and human friends (since it was daytime), they wed in a ceremony that may not have been legal but stood as a metaphor for gay marriage—but it was poorly contrived.
Thank god someone listened to the fans that said “I hope True Blood’s finale ignores all the good stories and just has a random wedding!”
— jon kostesich (@jon_k) August 25, 2014
“Let’s illustrate gay marriage using two white straight people and not the actual gay character everyone loves” – true blood
— Gaby Dunn (@gabydunn) August 25, 2014
Fans spent much of the series wondering whether Sookie would end up with Bill or the 1,000-year-old Viking Eric Northman, but in reality it was neither. She ends up with a faceless bearded man whose back faces the camera the entire time, and in flashforwards it’s revealed that she’s very pregnant. And fans aren’t having it. (At least Eric and Pam ended up rich, right?)
The life lesson I am taking from the finale of True Blood is sometimes you have to kill your boyfriend to find a much better boyfriend.
— CatSmuggler (@NyAdas) August 25, 2014
— Pork Chop (@uMadddt) August 25, 2014
After all that and they didn’t even show who Sookie was with, at the end #Trueblood
— Joy (@DelenaJoy) August 25, 2014
I watched for years to see who Sookie ends up with and it’s not bill nor Eric wtf #TrueBlood
— Brittany (@Perfectbritt92) August 25, 2014
And a fan favorite didn’t get a single line of dialogue.
If the True Blood finale isn’t Eric, Pam and Lafayette being vulgar, hilarious and naked then I don’t care to watch it.
— Sigourney Beaver (@OreoSpeedwagon_) August 25, 2014
Maybe they should’ve made the season finale longer. I mean, we only got to see Lafayette for a second at the end. Who does that? #TrueBlood
— Raleigh (@gollymsraleigh) August 25, 2014
Wait seriously Lafayette didn’t even get in any LINES in the series finale? REALLY? #TrueBlood
— Lacy Baugher (@LacyMB) August 25, 2014
“Lafayette was the most compelling character on the show, and he got a grand total of nothing to do on the finale,” Margaret Lyons wrote for Vulture. “This is what scientists call ‘some bullshit.’”
— Food Lover (@_MiszKP) August 25, 2014
And that’s pretty much it.
Photo via trueblood/YouTube