Woman talking(l+r), Woman holding newborn(c)

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‘You never get to hear this side’: Viewers defend mom who says she hates parenthood

‘I also feel like I wasn’t meant to be a mom.’

 

Parks Kugle

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A mother recently went viral on TikTok after she expressed a truth many mothers feel—she hates parenthood.

User BAD JUJU (@bvd.juju) took to the social media platform to vent about how overwhelming motherhood is for her, and garnered widespread support from viewers. The video has been viewed over 1.1 million times and received over 107,000 likes as of publication.

BAD JUJU begins her video with a bold statement: “Not everyone’s going to admit to this, but I hate being a mom, sometimes…most of the time.”

“I want to be selfish, I want to put myself first, I want to put my mental health first. But with a child with mental health needs it’s like where do I have the time? Where do I have the mental capacity?” she continues.

“No one tells you how patient you need to be,” the mom elaborates about the trails of parenthood. “It takes me so much to just hold it in until I can’t anymore. This is me when I can’t. My son kept me up until 6 AM yesterday. I had four hours of sleep if even that, with a pounding migraine.”

“I’m just really at my wit’s end,” the TikToker concludes.

A number of viewers disagreed about hating parenthood, and they chided the TikToker in the comment section of the video.

One user, who was more generous in their view than others, said, “This is so sad. I truly love being a mom and everything that comes with it. I hope things get better for you.”

However, the majority of dissenters were much more critical of BAD JUJU.

“Girl delete this,” wrote one user.

“This is abhorrent. These are the women who die alone in run down nursing homes without anyone. Stop talking about your kids like this,” someone else remarked.

@bvd.juju

♬ original sound – BAD JUJU ♐️

However, a number of mothers empathized with BAD JUJU, and admitted that they missed their lives before parenthood.

“I love my children but I hate being a mom 24/7 so I hear you,” one said.

“My kids don’t have disabilities, but I also feel like I wasn’t meant to be a mom. It’s so hard. Sending you love,” another agreed.

“I love my children, but I don’t enjoy being a parent,” a third added.

One person pointed out that BAD JUJU was brave to even share such a thought.

“You never get to hear this side,” they wrote. “You ony hear how rewarding and wonderful it is. I respect this.”

The truth is that being a mother in the modern era is hard. According to Pew Research, 70 percent of respondents believe that parenthood is more difficult today than it was 20-30 years ago.

Motherhood is a full-time job that requires endless amounts of patience, and the constant stress creates a whirlwind of emotions that can include resentment. Exhaustion and continually caring for the emotions of others can wipe anyone out. On top of their parenting duties, many mothers today also have jobs, with the U.S. Department of Labor reporting that over 79 percent of women with children below the age of 18 work full-time.

Some ways to combat the feelings of resentment against parenthood include getting enough quality sleep and taking personal time when possible. However, finding the time for either activity, especially with young children and not enough funds for childcare, can be nearly impossible.

The Daily Dot reached out to BAD JUJU via TikTok comments for further information.

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