“Not a good person”: 18 signs that you should stay far, far away from someone

An Ask Reddit post loaded up with traits and behaviors that should tell you to keep your distance from someone, if you can. There are a lot of unsavory people out there, but if you keep your eyes open, you can spot the ones to keep your guard up around.

“What’s an obvious sign that someone is not a good person?” u/Careful_Tip6823 asked.

Aside from numerous pithy responses about who someone voted for and comments about red hats, many of the thousands of comments warn against looking for how people treat others and when their kindness vanishes. Anyone who thinks it’s okay to be cruel under certain circumstances will eventually turn that upon you.

Though some thoughtful Redditors warned people not to reduce everybody to either “good” or “bad,” you can still look out for yourself. Beware snap judgments, but the following 18 behaviors are some pretty universal red flags:

1. They treat you differently when you’re alone

“When you are just 1-on-1 with this person, they will act like they are your best friend or something, but AS SOON as you get into a group setting, they will be real quick to crap on you for God knows why, like they are trying to climb some social ladder or smth.” —u/KarateKidd624

2. They mistreat their significant other

“A couple of colleagues and I were considering a business opportunity where we were going to partner with an investor. We had already been doing some business with his wife for years, and she was the reason we were all at the table anyway. So as we got close to committing to the deal, the husband investor says that he doesn’t see a fit for his wife in the new business, and they had agreed she would bow out.”

“We were shocked and asked for details, and he basically was sh*tting on his wife for not being effective at business development, which we were in total disagreement about.” —u/BaconReceptacle

3. They diss their friends behind their backs

“I know someone like this. They are super nice and friendly with everyone, so you wouldn’t even suspect. The more they were around me, the more I realized how much they judge, criticize, mock, and gossip about others behind their backs, and not excluding the ones they call friends and even relatives.”

“It’s really bizarre how social and likeable they appear with others.” —u/Moonlightdancer7

4. They’re only nice to get something from you

“They weaponize kindness. Like they’ll do something ‘nice’ for you just so they can hold it over your head forever.” —u/Expert-Economy-3938

5. They’re only decent to people they like

“I know someone who brags about how they’re like this and wears it like a badge of honor. They’ve legit said ‘a person could be choking to death in front of me and I’d only help if I really liked the person. Otherwise, I’d just let them choke and die.’” —u/Enchantedbibliophile

6. They only talk about themselves

“My brother is like this. You could have a whole conversation with him, and he will talk only about himself, and if you try to say something about you, it’s like he didn’t hear you; he just keeps talking.”

“Yesterday, her wife (who gave birth to their baby only a few months ago) called me, distressed, that he has been cheating on her for months, possibly years. Hmmm.” —u/dankusama

7. They always have to be right

“They can’t ever admit that they are wrong, not even for a second. Everything becomes a debate where they just have to have the last word.” —u/stewartd434

8. They only take and never give

“They keep asking people for things with no intention of giving back. Everyone needs help sometimes, but it’s the takers that need a good kick in the face.” —u/smokescreen34

9. They say everyone else is the problem

“‘I don’t know why people hate me.’ I will find excuses for my bad actions and wonder why others won’t tolerate it.”

“‘Everyone in my life turned their backs on me.’ After they had enough of the crap I put them through.” —u/PleaseDontMakeMeSob

10. They expect empathy to go one way

“When they don’t even attempt to empathize with others’ hardships, but expect the whole world to stop when something happens to them.” —u/Distinct-Common-7471

11. They mistreat the vulnerable

“How they treat children, animals, the disabled, and the elderly. Tell you everything you need to know.” —u/iamChiman8

12. They’re unmoved by suffering

“They lack empathy; if they can sit in the presence of pain and/or suffering (big or small, mental or physical) and not be affected, or worse they are annoyed (contextually incongruent of course) then understand that this is not just a bad person but a destructive one, to themselves and others.” —u/FoxfireBlu

13. They’re rude to service workers

“Treating fast food, restaurant, and other service workers like sh*t. Stay so far the f*ck away from me.” —u/Comfortable_Basil_37

14. They think the world revolves around them

“I’ve found people who lack patience and don’t seem to listen to others are the worst. They’ve failed to see themselves as part of the universe but instead act as if they’re the center of it.” —u/mexicat2000

15. They hate boundaries

“They’re super nice as long as you’re doing things for them. But the moment you set a boundary or say no, their true colors show.” —u/DroohAndruh

16. They don’t return their shopping cart

“Leaving their shopping trolley in the middle of the car park. 100% of the time they’re a c***-.” —u/ganashers

17. They let you know how good they are

“Declaring how good of a person they are… Making any their good deeds known and publicized or documented. IE for show.” —u/moon_witch_26

18. They refuse to wait their turn

“Queue/line jumping. Someone who doesn’t feel like they should have to wait their turn will always prioritize themself over others in many other ways too.” —u/Unacceptable_tragedy

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