- Tom Steyer calls for reparations Tuesday 9:05 PM
- Etika mural added as official PokéStop in Pokémon Go Tuesday 8:35 PM
- Debate devolves into candidates shouting ‘math’ at each other Tuesday 8:19 PM
- Bloomberg rolls his eyes when challenged over sexist comments Tuesday 8:18 PM
- Bloomberg almost accidentally claims he ‘bought’ Congress Tuesday 8:03 PM
- ‘Dick Pound’ and ‘Bisexual Men Exist’ trend together–Twitter goes wild Tuesday 7:54 PM
- James Charles receives backlash over ‘racist’ imitation of Latinx TikTok character, Rosa Tuesday 7:06 PM
- Video shows people harassing elderly Asian man while he collects cans Tuesday 6:23 PM
- Bob Iger steps down as Disney CEO, prompting conspiracy theories Tuesday 5:53 PM
- Bhad Bhabie threatens to kill Skai Jackson amid feud involving their moms Tuesday 4:51 PM
- Body camera shows officer boasting about arresting a 6-year-old Tuesday 3:58 PM
- Singer Duffy opens up about the rape, captivity that led her to stop singing Tuesday 3:51 PM
- Cynthia Nixon embodies feminist rage in viral video Tuesday 3:30 PM
- Samsung factory shuts down amid confirmed coronavirus case Tuesday 3:08 PM
- Bebe Rexha says she won’t be ‘imprisoned’ by bipolar disorder Tuesday 2:33 PM
These Tinder messages on valentines are straight-up terrifying
How do I love thee? Let me count the negs.
Yes, in the grand tradition of PornHub Comments on Valentines, Tinder Messages on Valentines plumbs the gross imagination of the average horny bro to deliver epistolary odes that merit nothing less than awed silence. Read on if you dare.
Come on, fellas—you’re gonna want to save some of these lines for when you’re sloshed on St. Patrick’s day.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'