'fired for submitting ADHD/Autism accommodations and this was the fight between me and my husband about it'


TikToker’s husband calls her ‘incompetent’ after she was fired over disability accommodations

Viewers say she deserves a better job and a better husband.


Cecilia Lenzen

Internet Culture

Posted on Sep 18, 2021   Updated on Sep 20, 2021, 10:51 am CDT

A woman on TikTok says she was fired from her job after requesting accommodations for her ADHD and autism, and her husband called her “incompetent.”

Abby, known as @disabledanddivorced on TikTok, shared recordings of her husband verbally abusing her over the situation in a series of three TikToks. 

“My husband says I sabotaged myself because he doesn’t understand,” Abby wrote in the caption of the first TikTok.


I submitted for accommodations at work and was fired because they said no. My husband says I sabotaged myself because he doesn’t understand #autism

♬ original sound – DisabledandDivorced

After her husband, who she appears to have divorced, called her “incompetent,” Abby snapped back, “Yeah, it’s like I’m autistic.” 

“You’re incompetent about everything other than doing work,” her husband said. “But you can’t just put your head down and fucking do.” 

Viewers were saddened by Abby’s husband, but reassured Abby she shouldn’t stay with someone who treats her that way. 

“He actually thinks you’re incompetent and he still would think that if you got fired or not,” one viewer commented. “You shouldn’t be with someone who views you like that.” 

Another TikToker said, “People that don’t have ADHD/ASD don’t have a clue how difficult it is. They think we don’t care when in reality all we do is obsessively care.” 

Abby’s second TikTok shows Abby standing up for herself, saying, “I’m not being fired because I’m incompetent.” But her husband still insisted that was the reason. 


Reply to @disabledanddivorced part two of fighting with my ableist soon to be ex husband

♬ original sound – DisabledandDivorced

A third TikTok shows Abby calling her husband out for always telling her to lower her standards, because her husband says he can’t be the person she needs him to be. In a possibly mocking voice, her husband replied that she was “pushing everyone away” because of her standards. 


ex asking me to lower my standards when my expectations are set by his promises. #gaslighting #manipulation #autism

♬ original sound – DisabledandDivorced

“That’s fine. I’m not going to do that—that’s absurd for you to ask,” Abby said. “If you can’t live up to my standards then you don’t get to be in my life.” 

Several viewers applauded Abby for not backing down, saying she deserved happiness on her own standards. Others said her husband didn’t seem to understand boundaries or respect. 

“It sounds more like he doesn’t respect your boundaries,” one viewer commented. 

Another wrote, “Emotional manipulation at its finest.” 

Most viewers could agree that Abby deserves a better job and a better husband, but some also said she should sue her employer for not accommodating her disabilities. If Abby was fired solely for requesting disability accommodations, she may be able to file a lawsuit. 

The Americans with Disabilities Act, which became law in 1990, prohibits discrimination against people with disabilities in all areas of public life, including jobs, schools, transportation and all public and private places open to the public. The purpose of the civil rights law is to make sure that people with disabilities have the same rights and opportunities as everyone else.

Private employers, state and local governments, employment agencies, labor organizations and labor-management committees are all included in the ADA regulations, according to the U.S. Equal Employment Commission

It is unclear who Abby’s employer was, and Abby did not immediately respond to the Daily Dot’s request for comment. 

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*First Published: Sep 18, 2021, 10:21 am CDT