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A discerning mystery bidder just purchased a piece of history. One of INDECLINE’s iconic nude Donald Trump statues made its way to eBay on Thursday, just two days after the inspiration behind “The Emperor Has No Balls” won the presidency. Its “buy it now” price was $50,000 yet it fetched only $10,000, plus $500 to ship the monstrosity.
That’s quite a deal compared to the October Julien’s Auction sale of one such statue for $22,000. And Trump would seriously be proud of that discount. Hell, he’d probably want to congratulate the winning bidder, aka the only bidder, if he could ever figure out who bought the damn thing.
Look, we don’t really need to see this again.
The country needs to find hope in its citizens. That’s why I’m calling on this anonymous bidder to show themselves. We’ve gotta know what compelled you to throw down some serious cash for the constant reminder that the healthiest president in this country’s history is changing attitudes and turning the ideal male body trope into that of a blown-up blobfish.
Seriously, who the hell are you, silent majority bidder? The world needs to know.
A former Weekend Editor at the Daily Dot, April Siese's reporting covers everything from technology and politics to web culture and humor. Her work has been published by Bustle, Uproxx, Death and Taxes, Rolling Stone, the Daily Beast, Thrillist, Atlas Obscura, and others. Siese joined Quartz in December 2016.