Man who just wanted McDonald’s milkshake drawn into epic drive-thru nightmare

The entire point of fast food restaurants’ drive-through experience, we’d all agree, is the incredible convenience. Even if there’s a glitch with the intercom system or we have to root around in the cupholder for exact change, it’s low-stakes, low-hassle, and likely to produce delicious results.

All of this makes the late-night McDonald’s saga of a man named Josh Raby all the more stunning. It started, innocently enough, with a milkshake craving—but it spiraled out of control from there.

This is about when most of us would have cut our losses and started looking for a nearby Wendy’s. Not Raby, though. He was in it to win it.

Oh, no. Oh god, no.

Is it just me, or are bath salts making a big comeback?

Damn, dude. David Lynch himself couldn’t have directed this horrorshow. “You get to drive away” indeed, my friend. 

But we do have one more question…

Ah, yep. Should have guessed.

Update 3:12pm CT, April 11: Seems not everyone is buying Raby’s story. Suddenly everyone’s a milkshake truther?

Whatever happens next, Raby did finally get his milkshake.

Also, do stay turned for the porn version of this timeless tale.

Also, he probably made the whole thing up. Sorry about that.

Update 11:00am CT, April 13: He didn’t make the whole thing up! But a lot of Raby’s drive-thru adventure was, admittedly, what we in the media game like to call “not 100 percent true.”

Of course, it’s already far too late for this confession. We’ll never stop believing.

Miles Klee

Miles Klee

Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions,  and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'