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Espen Moe/Flickr (CC-BY)
Assange is missing a sense of humor online.
Wikileaks founder Julian Assange keeps trying to connect with his loyal followers through Twitter, but he’s not doing a great job. In July, he tweeted that he asked Donald Trump Jr. to publish his e-mails, which showed that Trump Jr. met with a Russian lawyer during the presidential campaign, on WikiLeaks. Trump Jr. cucked him, publishing the e-mails himself on Twitter. Then, earlier this month, Assange decided to conduct a really dumb Twitter poll that asked if the transparency of the Trump presidency, even if it’s completely accidental, was good or bad.
On Monday, when a solar eclipse was visible across the United States, Assange decided to take this opportunity to give his take on wearing protective eyewear versus not wearing protective eyewear during a solar eclipse, a topic that was the subject of a lot of jokes on Twitter in the days leading up to the eclipse.
Assange seems to be talking about only total solar eclipses here. We all know that it is dangerous to look at a partial solar eclipse without proper eyewear, like President Trump did on Monday. Oddly, Assange tweeted this after the eclipse already ended. Just an FYI for future eclipses!
Now it’s Tuesday, and Assange is already on to another topic: Googling where reporters say he lives. The tweets came shortly after the New Yorker published a profile of Assange, where his living arrangement at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London is described as “roughly three hundred and thirty square feet, comprising his private quarters and a few rooms that he shares with Ecuadorian staff.”
Perhaps this article prompted Assange to see how people have categorized his Embassy accommodations in the past, and how he earned the nickname “Cupboard Boy.”
He conducted some more internet searches on himself.
Then came this follow-up about Harry Potter and “class hazing”:
Assange’s tweets were just asking for a roast.
Oh shit you guys pissed off cupboard boy https://t.co/9jPQNl21yV
— Matt Novak (@paleofuture) August 22, 2017
Wow, that's news to me. I thought you lived up your own rectum https://t.co/mGuXgALk1z
— a nighean donn (@AhnethAhra) August 22, 2017
as stunning a meltdown as the assange cupboard rant was, let it not be lost that the wikileaks guy apparently doesnt understand the internet
— the kit (@2dAmMuslim) August 22, 2017
Today I learned that Assange googles his own name w random words like "basement" & "cupboard"
— EggsnGroyper(100%White) (@eggsnspetsnaz) August 22, 2017
Julian Assange shouting AM I BEING DETAINED at the lamppost outside the embassy for 16 hours a day
— bog dad (@AynRandy) August 22, 2017
"I'm not owned, I'm not owned" I say, as I live inside a cupboard for seven years https://t.co/evlyH2mE1g
— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) August 22, 2017
Some people pointed out the search results that Assange chose not to explore.
44,000 hits, these journalists are deranged pic.twitter.com/5Ueankf1Po
— Jame (@cashbonez) August 22, 2017
— James Turner (@jturner_ibrs) August 22, 2017
Assange has just one request. If you’re going to write about him, at least say he is tall.
Sorry, it’s hard to focus on height when you lack the ability to laugh at yourself.
Tiffany Kelly is the Unclick editor at Daily Dot. Previously, she worked at Ars Technica and Wired. Her writing has appeared in several other print and online publications, including the Los Angeles Times, Popular Mechanics, and GQ.