9 simple pleasures J.J. Watt apparently wants to fight about

If you don’t like breakfast food, Houston Texans defensive end J.J. Watt wants nothing to do with you. If you don’t like eggs, he might punch you in the face. If you don’t enjoy pancakes, he’s liable to tackle you to the ground. If you don’t want biscuits and gravy right now, he’s probably going to gut you with a butter knife.

Watt is fiery on the football field, and he’s apparently just as passionate about what you put in your face after you’ve just risen from slumber.

It actually sounds like Watt will fight you if you disagree with him. But breakfast isn’t his only passion. Watt likes a lot of things, and he’s not afraid to show it. Aside from breakfast food, here are nine things he adores—and if you don’t love them as well, you’d better beware.

1) Puppies

If you don’t enjoy puppies, Watt is going to put down the puppy he’s cradling in his arms and then bash you in the forehead.

2) Jennifer Aniston

Watt apparently has always had a crush on the actress. And if you don’t feel the same way, he’s going to crush you.

3) Proposing marriage

You’d better say yes.

4) Ronda Rousey

In this case, Watt was wrong. Instead, Rousey was the one to take a beating from Holly Holm.

5) Pizza 

Watt recently became a Papa John’s endorser along with Peyton Manning.

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And if you prefer Pizza Hut or Domino’s instead, take a hard look at the following video. No matter how much those quarterbacks were hurt by Watt, he’s going to make it a hundred times worse for you.

6) Smiling

And probably the movie Elf. And if you don’t care for either, Watt will hit you so hard in the stomach that you’ll be tossing your milk and cookies for weeks.

7) Naps 

Not down with taking a mid-day snooze? Watt will make sure to put you to sleep.

8) Kelly Kapowski 

Zach Morris had better not get in his way.

9) Hugs

Watt is passionate about showing his passion for you. And if you happen to get locked in an embrace with the best defensive player in the NFL, he may never let you go, causing your death by sensual strangulation. 

That, by the way, is Watt’s mom. She did not survive.

Photo via J.J. Watt/YouTube

Josh Katzowitz

Josh Katzowitz

Josh Katzowitz is a staff writer at the Daily Dot specializing in YouTube and boxing. His work has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, and Los Angeles Times. A longtime sports writer, he's covered the NFL for CBSSports.com and boxing for Forbes. His work has been noted twice in the Best American Sports Writing book series.