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As gender reveals have grown in stature, they’ve also become a divisive topic even within many families, with some parents to be choosing not to reveal the results of the scan or to even have one in the first place.
Like how it was done before 2018, you know.
A recent post on Reddit’s Am I The Asshole sub involved such a divided family, where the poster was so obsessed with her unborn nibling’s gender that her sister ended up trolling her in a spectacular fashion.
AITA for cutting contact with my sister and asking for my gifts refunded after she lied about her babies gender and her due date from AmItheAsshole
According to the original poster (OP), her sister’s decision not to have a gender scan “didn’t really suit” the rest of their family, but especially OP. Knowing, apparently, that her “impatient” sister, Rachel, would eventually cave, OP took the very reasonable decision to send her a daily text message asking if she’d found out the gender yet.
OP wasn’t deterred even after Rachel complained to their mother about OP “driving her insane” with the daily text messages. Believing she was right, OP continued sending these daily missives until Rachel was seventeen weeks pregnant, when she did indeed appear to cave and told OP that she was having a girl.
OP was over the moon and decided to ignore Rachel’s request for gender-neutral gifts because the “little pink dresses and frilly sleepsuits… were gorgeous.”
The plot thickens further as OP details her bizarre outrage over not being allowed to be present for the birth “of my own niece.”
Even the fact that Rachel was having a C-section and only wanted her husband there for this very scary procedure didn’t cut it for OP, who seemed to think giving birth, even in surgical form, should be a family affair.
Then the bombshells hit. Rachel had lied to OP, and not once but twice. Not only was the baby not a girl, Rachel had not in fact caved and had never had a gender scan in the first place (As one Redditor points out you can’t even have that scan done at 17 weeks, the earliest is 21).
The baby was a boy and, more than that, he’d arrived significantly earlier than the due date Rachel had given OP—not because he was premature but because Rachel had lied to her about her scheduled surgery date to make sure OP “wouldn’t be on labour watch and turn up at the hospital.”
Instead of taking a good, long look at herself in light of this, as pretty much everyone on Reddit suggested, OP firmly believes she’s the victim here and is now refusing to speak to her sister or visit the baby because she’s “distraught my niece never existed.”
OP also had the audacity to demand her sister return the clothes and gifts she’d kept buying the baby throughout the pregnancy because “they were for a baby girl.”
Rachel however, a queen to the very end, simply said no and sent her a picture of her son wearing a pink frilly sleepsuit, something that seems to be the final outrage for OP.
Unwilling to take her family’s word for it that she was absolutely the asshole here, OP turned to the subreddit for validation over cutting her sister off because, in her own words, “she won’t pay me back and won’t return my gifts, she lied to me for month’s and texts me all the time telling me to come meet my nephew, my whole family have told me to let it go but i can’t AITA?”
Sadly for OP, this did not work out the way she planned as the sub has rightfully declared her to be the absolute and total asshole here.
People couldn’t get over the fact the OP thought she should get to be present for her sister’s Cesarean.
And there was some excellent riffing on ways Rachel could have further trolled her sister over the gender.
Suggestions included “a sex previously only known in bugs” and “pretty sure it’s a t-rex.”
Though some see dire consequences if OP doesn’t get her entitlement in check.
Reddit user mermetermaid posted this as a prediction of what was to come if OP isn’t stopped “Cut to: AITA for kidnapping my (21f) new NEPHEW (3 wks) because my former SISTER(28f) is putting him in GIRL CLOTHES???”
Siobhan Ball is a historian, archivist, and journalist. She also writes for Autostraddle and bi.org