- People are calling rapper Tekashi 69 a ‘snitch’ for outing gang members 3 Years Ago
- Greta Thunberg tells Congress to ‘listen to the scientists’ about climate crisis 3 Years Ago
- Maybe we should start taking Tom DeLonge seriously about UFOs Today 9:11 AM
- Get ready to argue about the alternate-history politics of HBO’s ‘Watchmen’ Today 8:53 AM
- Third instance of Justin Trudeau wearing racist makeup emerges after he apologized for first 2 Today 8:45 AM
- 6 must-watch college football games to stream this weekend Today 8:12 AM
- What is the Hinge dating app, and how does it work? Today 7:00 AM
- ‘Inside Bill’s Brain’ is nothing more than a Bill Gates infomercial Today 6:30 AM
- Swipe This! He hasn’t texted me back. Should I text him again? Today 6:00 AM
- New Loch Ness monster video may just confirm giant eel theory Wednesday 8:04 PM
- Instagram to restrict posts promoting diet culture and plastic surgery Wednesday 6:58 PM
- Apple wants to trademark ‘Slofie,’ its term for slow-motion selfies Wednesday 5:51 PM
- Fortnite leak reveals a Batman crossover event may be happening Wednesday 5:32 PM
- The explosion at a bull semen factory generated a lot of obvious jokes Wednesday 4:33 PM
- Jessica Jaymes, adult film star, dead at 43 Wednesday 4:18 PM
Driving our planet into a man-made hellfire has made it difficult for discovery. Sure, there’s the occasional news item of a spider being named after David Bowie or an erudite cave beetle named after Hitler. Rarely is the animal kingdom disrupted, though.
As of this writing, the petition was a mere 12 supporters away from reaching its 1,500 benchmark, which will automatically turn into a far larger goal, because Change.org is a fickle beast. Nonetheless, spicy boys have inspired incredible support from animal advocates, including hardcore band Such Gold.
In addition to “spicy boys” being the only logical name for such a creature, supporters point to just how fucking woke spicy boys are, signaling an unprecedented advent of progress in the animal kingdom.
“I believe that it is our responsibility as the younger generation to look after our world for both our futures and the future generations after us. Part of this improvment plan will be making sure our animals are happy and safe. Recently the fire ants have been speaking to me about their discomfort with the name ‘fire ant’ as it gives them disphoria and we should respect their decision to be called ‘Spicy Boys,'” the Change.org letter reads.
“There are 36 genders, furrys and bronys are active members of our community, there is a rising possibility of bay blade becoming an olympic sport, why can we have this but we can’t our spicy boys.”
Listen to the people, Obamas and nerdy guy who founded Facebook. And, most importantly, listen to the fire ants.
A former Weekend Editor at the Daily Dot, April Siese's reporting covers everything from technology and politics to web culture and humor. Her work has been published by Bustle, Uproxx, Death and Taxes, Rolling Stone, the Daily Beast, Thrillist, Atlas Obscura, and others. Siese joined Quartz in December 2016.