Hugo Award-nominated erotic novelist Chuck Tingle tends to divide humanity into two camps: buckaroos who believe love is real and the bad devilmen. Tingle’s Buckaroo party—Channing Tatum, Pres.; Chuck Tingle, Viceman—stands against devilman Donald Trump and has published a website devoted to fact-checking Trump’s “lies about his time in the void.”
There’s a lot going on here, but basically, Tingle is a master troll who’s created a bizarre, hilarious metaverse of sexy “Tingler” novels, and sometimes the line between the Tingleverse and the real world gets a little blurry.
In Tingle’s telling, presidential candidate DOMALD TROMP is actually a thousand crabs from a void dimension. In debates, he uses the clever tactic of talking about things that happened in alternate timelines as if they’d happened in this one—also known as “lying.” Someone has to call these things out, and Chuck Tingle is the man to do it.
On trumpdebatefacts.com, you’ll find his scintillating liveblog of Monday night’s debate between “top wizard HILL CLINTONS” and “a shrieking collection of cosmic horrors barely held together by bloated stolen skin.”
The whole thing is worth reading, and you should follow his Twitter during the next debate, but here are a few highlights:
Dom Tromp using mulitple timelines as clever debate tool, claiming FACTS of the void that do not apply to this reality— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
stench of the abyss grows stronger in debate hall as TROMP suggests instituting Laws Of The Void on all citizens that do not shake like him— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
LAW AND ORDER TROMP claims disenfranchised americans are violent monsters, while tentacles and crabs continue to erupt from HIS OWN eyes— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
DOMALD TROMP: "i once opened a club and human beings were allowed not just crabs, i swear". moderator declines to interject with fact check— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
dissapointed in moderator for no DIRECT followup: 'Are you a poorly disguised mass of crabs wearing the skin of bloated human?' disgraceful— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
claiming 'better temperament than clintons," dom tromp nearly falls off of stage in a blind crustacean rage, black ooze spilling from body— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
It’s truly demented fun, but Tingle also manages to work in the actual substance of the debate, which included moments like Trump bragging about making the first black president release his birth certificate, saying he was smart not to pay taxes, and responding to a question about cybersecurity by saying his 10-year-old son is good with computers.
Even Chuck Tingle can’t make this stuff up.