A woman tweeted her “traditional” take on a domestic partnership. In turn, people are now hilariously tweeting their own version of kind of wife they will “exactly be.”
“Call me old fashioned, but I was raised to take care of my husband,” Brylea Kay wrote on Twitter. “Make his plate every night, wash his work clothes for him, make sure he’s up for work the next morning, always have a clean house for him to come home to, etc. And that’s exactly wife [sic] I will be.”
call me old fashioned, but i was raised to take care of my husband
— brylea kay (@bryleakayy) June 11, 2019
make his plate every night, wash his work clothes for him, make sure he’s up for work the next morning, always have a clean house for him to come home to, etc.
and that’s exactly wife i will be
Sounds exhausting, girl.
Twitter users were quick to point out that this “old-fashioned” view of marriage actually sounds a lot more like raising a child or working as a housekeeper than engaging in a romantic partnership.
Many were quick to make a joke out of the whole thing.
“Call me old fashioned, but I was raised to take care of my husband, change his diaper every night, wash his butt for him, make sure he’s up for daycare the next morning, always have a clean crib for him to come home to, etc. And that’s exactly the wife I will be,” Caylee Costanza wrote on Twitter.
call me old fashioned, but i was raised to take care of my husband
— conan gray (@conangray) June 13, 2019
chew his food for him and spit it directly into his mouth, wipe his ass for him after he shits, treat him like a big fat ugly oversized baby etc.
that’s exactly the wife i will be https://t.co/IBmcbky88X
Nobody:
— Caucasiana✨ (@JulieOfcharsky) June 11, 2019
Pick me Twitter: Call me old fashioned but I was raised to be a maid to my significant other with no financial or emotional benefits! No need to take me on dates I will eat from the trash like a fucking rabid opposum, all while providing unlimited sex & emotional labor.
https://twitter.com/Laneciaaa_xo/status/1139630494155513856
call me old fashioned, but i was raised to take care of my husband
— milky costanza (@redactedgirl) June 12, 2019
change his diaper every night, wash his butt for him, make sure he’s up for daycare the next morning, always have a clean crib for him to come home to, etc.
and that’s exactly the wife i will be
Meanwhile, some folks took aim at the “old-fashioned” portion of the sentiment. Because hey, if we’re going to talk about returning to the old ways, we might as well carry it through, right?
Call me old fashioned, but when I have a husband, I will make him dinner every night, care for the kids, churn butter every morning after milking the cows, weave clothing from the wool I sheared off our sheep, and die of cholera because it is 1828
— emma riley crane (@emma_rileyyyy) June 13, 2019
https://twitter.com/rachelprobably/status/1138629897751076864
Others knew exactly what kind of wife they would be if faced with an idea of marriage that had them waiting on their husband hand and foot.
One user made an iconic Chicago reference.
“Call me old fashioned, but I was raised to take care of my husband make his plate every night, wash his blood off my hands when I kill him, make sure he’s buried in our backyard, always have a clean house so the police don’t find out, etc. And that’s exactly wife I will be,” another quipped.
call me old fashioned, but i was raised to take care of my husband pic.twitter.com/w5AMRWyQic
— femmebot (@_bo_bana) June 14, 2019
call me old fashioned, but i was raised to take care of my husband
— brown anna kendrick (@meeracleshappen) June 13, 2019
make his plate every night, wash his blood off my hands when I kill him, make sure he’s buried in our backyard, always have a clean house so the police don’t find out, etc.
and that’s exactly wife i will be
call me old fashioned, but i was raised to take care of my husband
— dr. doofenschmirtz (@smelsey_) June 12, 2019
make him black eyed peas that taste alright to me, buy some land & a roadside stand out on highway 109, sell TN ham & strawberry jam, pack a lunch & stuff him in the trunk
and that’s exactly wife i will be
Even some men jumped into the conversation to share their disinterest in Kay’s version of marriage.
Call me old fashioned but I was raised to make my own food, do my own laundry, and clean my own home. https://t.co/E23tL7fIx1
— adam ellis (@moby_dickhead) June 12, 2019
Call me old fashioned, but I was raised to help my wife with whatever I possibly can.
— Bobby Light (@TheLifeOfLane) June 11, 2019
Make her plate when I need to. I’m capable of running a load of laundry. Run the shower for her when I’m leavin for work to help her wake up. And Sunday’s, EVERYONE cleans the mf house https://t.co/ttsbe0cGyE
It’s perfectly fine if some women decide to stay home and take care of the house. That’s the beauty of choice. However, if that’s what you want to do with your life, it’s probably not the best idea to go on Twitter spouting it in a way that comes across as condescending and a righteous return to “traditional values.”
Call me old fashioned but I was raised to peg my husband
— Mina W. (@waheedrom) June 13, 2019
READ MORE:
- Conservative blogger gets mocked for praising traditional gender roles during hurricane rescue
- How conservative men responded to the U.S. women’s national team victory
- Hannah Gadsby has a few words for the ‘good men’ distancing themselves from misogyny
Got five minutes? We’d love to hear from you. Help shape our journalism and be entered to win an Amazon gift card by filling out our 2019 reader survey.