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While everyone’s busy overhyping the panic about Apple’s new iPhone eliminating the headphone jack, an even more shocking and “courageous” development isn’t getting the attention it deserves. The new Apple Watch Series 2 will be able to piss on you.
The. Watch. Can. Piss.
Or, at least, that’s how people are describing the waterproof watch’s ability to “eject” liquid through its speakerholes:
apple watch can now piss
— yung slime (@0xfox) September 7, 2016
New Apple Watch literally has the ability to take a piss on you, ya freaks.
— Philip Obenschain (@pobenschain) September 7, 2016
Oh good my Apple Watch will now spit or piss on me.
— chieF (@sp3cialk) September 7, 2016
The Apple Watch 2’s big selling point is that it’s “swimproof,” but water that gets in has to go somewhere, lest it damage the components. And where it goes could be “on you,” if you’re into that sort of thing (that thing being computer piss).
Some people are thinking bigger than just H20, though:
You can piss all over the new apple watch and its speakers will eject it all back at you
— A$APCoolDad Jared (@PretendMaker) September 7, 2016
We’ve seen a sports watch before, but Apple’s watersports watch is a definite innovation. What would Steve Jobs think, though?
Don’t care! We’re mere weeks away from the first video of someone actually trying this, and I can’t wait.
Jay Hathaway is a former senior writer who specialized in internet memes and weird online culture. He previously served as the Daily Dot’s news editor, was a staff writer at Gawker, and edited the classic websites Urlesque and Download Squad. His work has also appeared on nymag.com, suicidegirls.com, and the Morning News.