This dude spent $150,000 to get a Kim Kardashian makeover

To quote The Big Lebowski: “Sometimes there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place.” At the tail end of 2014, on Instagram, Jordan James Parke is that man.

What makes the British makeup artist the human embodiment of our terrifying zeitgeist? Probably the $150,000 he’s spent on collagen injections, eyebrow tattoos, laser hair removal, “vampire facials,” and Botox in order to more closely resemble Kim Kardashian.

And it worked. Sort of.

Parke and his 15,400 Instagram followers—unfortunately, he just set the account to private—seem pleased with the results.

“I laugh when people try to insult me by telling me I look plastic or fake,” he said in an interview with the Sun. “Do they think I’m going for the natural look? If I was, I’d ask for my money back.”  

Morning 😘☺️ #morning #manchester #wilmslow #la #alderleyedge #fur #racoon #loveit #love #fashion #style #lips #lipfiller #plasticsurgery #plasticpositive #glamour #eyebrows #mac #macboys #newfur #stunning #illamasqua #semipermanentmakeup 🐺🐻

A photo posted by 💉💄Jordan James Parke💄💉 (@jordanjamesparke) on

Like any good Kardashian, he’s also dropping a fortune on designer goods and takes his selfies in chic settings. He’s apparently not too modest, either:

Any paparazzo who snaps a photo of this dude with that Justin Bieber guy can probably just retire.

H/T Daily Mail | Photo via jordanjames2014/Instagram

Miles Klee

Miles Klee

Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions,  and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'