Does ordering a Lemon Drop shot at your local watering hole mean you’re still on your parent’s phone plan? That’s what North Carolina comic and bar owner Kenny Giard says. And even if the truth hurts, it’s still pretty funny.
Giard has been performing his feats of bartender astrology in a long-running series of videos uploaded to his TikTok account (@kennyg_olddadtikertoker). The series is called “What Your Drinks Say About You,” and it might just hurt your feelings depending on your favorite shot of choice.
But don’t worry: Giard is an equal-opportunity offender when it comes to drinks.
Giard’s Oct. 2 post, a repost of the original video in the series, is now up to an impressive 7 million views and counting. In it, Giard, who tends his own bar between comedy gigs, delivers his one-liner opinions on what your favorite drink is really saying about your life choices.
What your drink says about you
Picklebacks? “It’s 100 % your fault your parents got divorced.”
Liquid Marijuana? “Your friends are definitely gonna draw on your face when you pass out tonight.”
Natty Light? “Your family has a scrapbook full of your own mug shots.”
Pink Whitney? “You absolutely have daddy issues.”
@kennyg_olddadtikertoker What your drinks say about you! #bartender #divebar #drinks #compilation #part1 #funny #jokes #laugh #cornerbargso ♬ original sound – Kenny Giard
Giard reserves his most specific analysis for drinkers of the green tea shot, stating that they have “definitely slept with at least three people in the bar right now.”
Giard started his TikTok comedy career when he was forced to shutter his Greensboro, N.C. bar, The Corner Bar, during the COVID-19 pandemic.
“The bar was shut down for about six months, and I remember my wife was in our living room, and I was…in our bedroom, and I keep hearing her laugh, and ten minutes go by, and I’m like ‘you’re married, and we’re in a pandemic with kids in this house. What’s funny?’ And she’s like ‘TikTok…’ I was like ‘what’s a TikTok?'” he told Greensboro CBS affiliate CBS 17.
The 15 thousand-plus comments on the video indicate Giard has found a good fit on the app.
“GREEN TEA SHOTS HOW DID YOU KNOW,” one viewer wrote.
“Green tea shots is weirdly accurate,” a second said.
“I tell no lies,” Giard responded.
“Nah I didn’t need that Whitney one to hit so hard,” another viewer commented.
It’s safe to say that no drink will get off the hook with Giard—it’s just a matter of time before he gets to them all.
The Daily Dot has reached out to Giard via Instagram direct message for further comment.