Server ignores woman, only focuses on man during dinner service. The woman is the one paying

@angiefrog747/TikTok Monkey Business Images/ShutterStock (Licensed)

‘I don’t blame this girl for not tipping’: Server ignores woman, only focuses on man during dinner service. The woman is the one paying

'I would have put a heart around the 0 on the tip!'


Brooke Sjoberg


Posted on Jan 5, 2024   Updated on Jan 5, 2024, 8:39 am CST

Going out to a restaurant and being snubbed by a waiter or server can be a very unpleasant experience, especially if it is not happening to the entire table.

Occasionally, a server might genuinely forget that a certain table is in their section or that they have sat someone there. However, customers have reported via TikTok that they were ignored at restaurants for a variety of reasons, such as dining alone or because of racial stereotypes related to tipping.

On the other side of the matter, some servers have said their tips show when a customer believes them to be flirting with their significant others. One restaurant customer has claimed that her server totally ignored her during the meal she shared with her husband.

TikTok user @ohheyitsdeanna says she and her husband went out for a meal, and their waitress was polite to her husband, but entirely changed her demeanor when it came to taking her order and handling her requests. They both ordered the same thing for their meal but the server allegedly brought hers out 15 minutes after his.

“While she’s taking our order, she’s having small talk with my husband and is like, ‘What do you do for work?’ Asking him a million questions and disregarding me completely,” she says in the video. “I was just kind of like, that’s rude. ‘What do you do for work? Have you been here before? I’ve never seen you before. He he he,’ and like playing with her hair and sh*t. My husband was kind of eyeing me in the corner. She places his order, puts it in, and then she looks at me again and with another rude glare and she’s like, ‘And what would you like?'”

While she was waiting for her food order, the TikToker says the server came back and refilled her husband’s beverage at least twice, frustrating her. She says she simply asked for her order to be checked on, as she tries to be considerate of what a server might be experiencing, like having a busy slate of tables or getting sidetracked helping other customers.

Even after her meal is brought out, @ohheyitsdeanna says her server kept flirting with her husband, even touching his shoulder when chit-chatting. When she brings the check, she exclusively addresses @ohheyitsdeanna’s husband, telling him that he hoped she had a good time.

@ohheyitsdeanna #stitch with @Chloe just learn to be a girls girl, Erika 🤣 #storytime #skincareroutine #husband #stitch #datenight ♬ original sound – Deanna

She says her husband opened up the check and started laughing before handing it to her as she was paying the bill. She says the server had drawn a heart around her name on the check.

“I just start laughing because guess who’s not getting a tip because my service was sh*t?” she says. “It was my night to treat out my husband on a date night, and you were rude to the wrong person because your assumption was that he was the man that he was paying.”

In a response video from fellow TikTok user @angiefrog747, she says she did not blame the original poster for not tipping her server after she spent the entire time focusing on her husband and paying no attention to her at all.

“I don’t blame this girl for going off and not tipping the girl, because honestly that is just pure disrespect,” she says. “That is like flaunting in her face, ‘I’m after your man.’ Women like that are so f*cking sleazy, like it’s disgusting watching women like that.”

@angiefrog747 I tip even with bad service most of the time… yet i dont think i would have tipped her either. It bothered me her hubby let it happen and made his girl eatablish the boundary. #sleazy #girlsgirls #whatwouldyoudo #aita #manstealer #gross #selfesteem #insecurity #pickmegirls #forthetips #relationships #boundaries #dobetter #girlproblems #preapproved #respectyourpartner #treatherright #treathimright #waitressproblems #whydoyoudothis ♬ original sound – Angie

The Daily Dot has reached out to @angiefrog747 and @ohheyitsdeanna via TikTok direct message regarding the video.

Several viewers commented on the video that they have been in similar situations, if not the exact same scenario of being ignored in favor of their husbands at restaurants.

“My husband gave her ZERO for a tip because a waitress wouldn’t even look at me and only spoke to my husband,” one commenter wrote.

“I’ve had this happen, my husband was like, ‘see were not gonna do this, I’m not gonna let you treat my wife like this,’ and lost it on her and the manager,” another user said.

“Had this happen once. I spoke to a manager about it,” one said. “Apparently it was a repeat thing for her, because she was fired. Sorry, but you’re serving the whole table, not just one guy at it.”

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*First Published: Jan 5, 2024, 10:00 am CST