Main Character of the Week is a weekly column that tells you the most prominent “main character” online (good or bad). It runs on Fridays in the Daily Dot’s web_crawlr newsletter. If you want to get this column a day before we publish it, subscribe to web_crawlr, where you’ll get the daily scoop of internet culture delivered straight to your inbox.
The internet is a stage, and someone unwillingly stumbles onto it weekly. This makes them the “main character” online. Sometimes their story is heartwarming, like Kim Kardashian’s custom satin Cybertruck; usually it’s a gaffe. In any case, that main character energy flows through the news cycle and turbo-charges debate for several business days.
Here’s the Trending team’s main character of the week.
It’s a duck and a goose in Springfield, Illinois.
As right-wing media, Sen. JD Vance (R-Ohio), and former president Donald Trump repeat racist claims that Haitian immigrants are stealing pets in the Midwest, there have been consequences.
As the Daily Dot exclusively reported this week: “Public records from the Ohio Department of Natural Resources (ODNR) reveal that although multiple callers cited rumors of Haitian immigrants taking geese and ducks in Springfield, Ohio, only two callers confirmed they directly witnessed a specific event of animals being taken.
“But the virality of the coverage prompted a flood of callers from out of state, bombarding the agency with unfounded complaints littered with racist messaging.”
The southwestern Ohio town has seen many Haitian immigrants move there in recent years. Immigration is always a complicated issue about resource management and human rights with no easy solutions. What many right-wing politicians have offered instead of solutions is racist fear-mongering.
“In Springfield, they are eating the dogs, the people that came in, they’re eating the cats,” former Trump said during the presidential election debate with Vice President Kamala Harris. It became a popular TikTok remix.
The pet-snatching rumors ultimately come from a police report on March 27, one of two total from the Springfield area about the matter. In it, “three Haitian males grabbed a live duck and a live goose and placed them in a black trash bag.” The duck appeared to be a mallard; the goose a Canada goose. The officer found no evidence of crimes and moved on.
This would have been a misdemeanor, per our reporting.
The second claim was similar. The case also fizzled. As we wrote: “ODNR wrote in a statement to the Daily Dot that the officer was initially unable to reach the witness but later made contact. No supporting evidence to verify the claim was found.”
The Trump debate line has become something of an inside joke between brown people, I’ve learned. On Wednesday my favorite handyman Bernardo came by the house to fix and ultimately replace the garbage disposal that I impatiently punctured with a broomstick. I asked if he took cards. He replied, “I take everything but dogs and cats.”
I am going to editorialize and say that Haitian immigrants are very great and make our communities better. Through my Haitian friends that I have met coaching youth soccer, I have learned about Haitian culture and the killer revolution soup they eat around New Year’s and my friend Jean texts me when his regular pop-up kitchens take place so that I can get an order in. It’s funny they charge like $30 a plate because they have to cover the cost of the very high-quality meat required for their regional delicacies. Sometimes I’m like damn Jean this is kinda expensive I’m out this time.
Haiti is a country that has been particularly devastated by the United States. So I can think of fewer people who deserve to be here more.
Like the painting I saw in my Austin, Texas-based, hippy-ass vegan brunch spot read, I believe that “no one is illegal on stolen land.”
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