woman in store; hand holding phone with Instacart logo showing; bag of almond flour on shelf

@kyleighmarie745/TikTok sdx15/ShutterStock (Licensed)

‘Weaponized Incompetence’: Male Instacart shopper can’t find in-stock item. Customer sends fiancé to store. He also can’t find it

‘I had male instacart shoppers so often I stopped it altogether.’


Tiffanie Drayton


Weaponized incompetence” is a new term to describe men’s bad behavior that has gained popularity online and there seems to be no shortage of examples.

In a viral video that has amassed over 224,000 views, TikTok user Kyleighmarie745 (@kyleighmarie745) showed viewers how her male Instacart shopper and fiancé couldn’t find a grocery item that was hard to miss.

@kyleighmarie745 Dylan needs a refund from his optometrist bc those glasses ain't doing chit #theman #almondflour ♬ The Man – Taylor Swift

“Imagine sending your fiancé to get something from the store after the Instacart shopper (male) couldn’t find it,” text overlaid on the clip read. “And your fiancé tells me they don’t have it.”

In the clip’s next shot, a very clear shot of almond flour sits on the shelf, which is stocked with multiple packs of the same item.

Taylor Swift’s song “The Man” plays in the background while the video rolls.

In the comments section, other users shared their epic tales of what they believe to be men weaponizing their incompetence.

“Sent my husband to dollar general for makeup wipes once and he came home with a giant bottle of pure acetone,” user Katie wrote.

“Husband ‘lost’ his tooth paste – it was inside his drawer just upside down,” another said.

“We had a male shopper say they were out of tampons,” OrigamiCorgi commented. “We went to the same store right after. They weren’t.”

Others said they have stopped using Instacart shoppers because they are too often assigned incompetent male shoppers.

“I had male instacart shoppers so often I stopped it altogether,” one user shared.

“Same I can’t do it anymore,” Kyleighmarie responded.

These days, viral posts calling out male “weaponized incompetence” abound. The term first cropped up earlier this year in a Huffington Post piece in January that reported on the term, noting the significant gender imbalance in workplace responsibilities and in the division of labor at home.

Since then, the Daily Dot has published numerous stories about TikTok that have gone viral after women point out how men weaponize incompetence against them. One TikToker amassed over a million views after saying men in the workplace only acknowledge a good idea if it comes out of their own mouth.

The Daily Dot reached out to Kyleighmarie745 via TikTok comment and Instacart by email.

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