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22 questions Rick Perry needs to answer about his anti-Hillary Clinton cartoon

Rick Perry

Gage Skidmore/flickr

To oops or not to oops—that is the question.

Former Texas governor and recently announced 2016 presidential candidate Rick Perry released a curious video on YouTube over the weekend.

Watching the minute-long cartoon, it’s hard not come away with a few questions.

  • Are you high?
  • Seriously though, are you high? Last year you advocated for giving states the ability to decriminalize marijuana. Polls show a majority of Americans support full-scale legalization, so it probably wouldn’t be a campaign-killer if you were high.
  • Were you going for Mystery Science Theater 3000 or for Beavis & Butthead
  • The marquee outside the movie theater is for a movie called Stop Hillary Clinton, but the attacks on Hillary’s record come during the “Previews of Coming Attractions” section. Was the sign outside the theater advertising the previews? 
  • Was there a preview for a different movie about stopping Hillary from becoming president playing before the movie about stopping Hillary from becoming president that Hillary was intending to see?
  • If there are that many upcoming movies about stopping Hillary from becoming president, wouldn’t it better to find an angle that’s a little different?
  • Superhero movies are really hot right now. Why not make a sequel to your dark, brooding 2012 blockbuster in which you were a superhero battling the evil forces of Obama‘s lackluster job-creation record?
  • Why would Hillary willingly go see a movie dedicated to attacking her? 
  • Was George W. Bush first in line to see Fahrenheit 9/11 in theaters?
  • Did Bush see Fahrenheit by himself, like Hillary in your video, or did he take Cheney? Or did the three of you make a night of it?
  • Are you suggesting that Hillary is chasing the ironic hipster vote by depicting her seeing a terrible movie just to make fun of it? 
  • Aren’t those hipsters the same demographic you’re trying to attract with these cool new glasses?
  • How’s that indictment for abusing your power as governor of Texas going?
  • On a scale of zero to Texas-sized, how much self-confidence does it take to mount a run for president while under indictment?
  • If you took a really deep breath, how long do you think you could yell the word “Benghazi“? 
  • On a scale of zero to Texas-sized, how closely will the GOP primary debates resemble you yelling “Benghazi” for a really long time?
  • Do you think you could beat Ted Cruz at arm wrestling? 
  • What about a foot race?
  • Connect Four? 
  • Coyote shooting?
  • If you could eliminate three federal government agencies, which ones would you pick?
  • A recent Fox News poll has you tied with literal laughingstock Donald Trump for the GOP nomination, with each of you at four percent. Is your Hillary video a cry for help? Do you want to get high and commiserate?

Photo by Gage Skidmore/Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Aaron Sankin

Aaron Sankin

Aaron Sankin is a former Senior Staff Writer at the Daily Dot who covered the intersection of politics, technology, online privacy, Twitter bots, and the role of dank memes in popular culture. He lives in Seattle, Washington. He joined the Center for Investigative Reporting in 2016.