- The internet is mocking Robert Mueller’s report deadline Friday 7:53 PM
- Instagram blocks some anti-vax hashtags—but still has far to go Friday 6:20 PM
- Study: Netflix released more originals than licensed titles last year Friday 2:26 PM
- Laura Ingraham, Dinesh D’Souza slam journalist for having a job Friday 1:40 PM
- Netflix is testing a cheap-as-hell mobile-only plan Friday 1:08 PM
- Astrology app Co-Star’s bizarre push notifications are now a meme Friday 12:18 PM
- ‘The Dirt’ offers a sanitized history of Mötley Crüe—but why? Friday 11:42 AM
- ‘The Dirt’ director Jeff Tremaine on Mötley Crüe’s long, difficult road to Netflix Friday 11:30 AM
- Here’s video of yet another alleged gunman looking for YouTuber Adam22 Friday 11:09 AM
- 12 mugs that are absolutely purr-fect for cat enthusiasts Friday 10:58 AM
- Jared Kushner used WhatsApp for official White House business Friday 10:50 AM
- Unsettled Tom memes are on the rise Friday 10:36 AM
- Trans student nominated for prom king told by administration to run for queen Friday 10:07 AM
- Trump turns on his favorite cable news network Friday 8:56 AM
- Skillshare is offering new users one month of premium for less than $1 Friday 8:34 AM
Yeah, this isn’t true.
The video stars “Boyd Bushman,” who claims he worked for military-industrial juggernaut Lockheed Martin and has appeared in segments for truther media outlets like UFOTV® The Disclosure Movie Network. Posted by “Independent Aerospace Professional” “Mark Q. Patterson” (only other upload: “Gila Woodpecker Eating on the Fruit of a Night Blooming Cereus Cactus”), it shows Bushman “candidly speaking about his personal experiences with Area 51, UFOs, aliens, and anti-gravity ideas” shortly before his death on August 7.
There’s a lot to love about this baloney, from the part where Bushman identifies clouds in a photo of Tuscon, Ariz., as spaceships to the images of extraterrestrial beings that Quebec broadcaster TVQC discovered on sale at Walmart. “They’re able to use their own voice by telepathy to talk to you,” Bushman says of the five-foot-tall aliens, divided into “wranglers” and “rustlers,” all of whom made a 45-year journey to Earth from the planet Quintumnia. “You walk in the room with one of them, and… you find yourself giving the answer to your question in your own voice.” Bushman also notes that “[w]ith respect to the alien craft, we have American citizens who are working on UFOs 24 hours a day.” Sounds like they need a union!
British tabloid the Daily Star gave the laughable story some traction, and Glenn Beck just shared the Blaze’s coverage on Facebook, commanding his fans to “WATCH,” so the crazies are out in force. Meanwhile, Wikipedia won’t confirm so much as Bushman’s name, let alone his employment history as an engineer, and may soon be deleting his page altogether.
It’s tempting to write the whole thing off as a massive practical joke or a sad case of dementia. Then again, if the government did want to conceal a shocking truth about Area 51, they probably would arrange for a lonely crackpot to reveal it on the Internet and thereby discredit the idea forever, thereby keeping our nation of sheeple ensconced in a bubble of propaganda.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'