Martin Luther once said: “Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven!” That’s right, beer gets you into heaven, so drink up.
But just as a love of beer can unite people, at least in the afterlife, the discussion of craft beer can divide a table of otherwise happy drinkers. Some people swear by their locally made microbrews, while others feel it’s pretentious overpriced nonsense.
Regardless where you fall in the debate, you have to admit that a lot of craft beers do have ridiculous names. Peter Cotton Ale, Old Leghumper, and American Stupid Sexy Flanders (all real beers) come to mind.
Considering making your own homebrew? Well if you’re having trouble coming up with a name, just like choosing your porn name, there’s a formula for that. It was created by Australian comedian Melinda Buttle and it seems to work pretty well.
https://twitter.com/MelindaButtle/status/906665673706762241
People on Twitter happily rose to Buttle’s challenge and there were some real gems.
The Miners Fursty https://t.co/8ARrmgRtUh
— X (@MjaNufc) September 11, 2017
https://twitter.com/Patrick_Wyman/status/907273542437183488
https://twitter.com/daihenwood/status/906764092399960064
I love me a nice drop of “The Lawyer’s Hubris” 🍻
— Emily (@emilylmuir) September 10, 2017
The Postman’s Fleek
— Jorts Mackenzie (@EndgamerAzari) September 10, 2017
The Grocer’s Bayesianism https://t.co/uJKFJCFPGA
— Ariel Edwards-Levy (@aedwardslevy) September 11, 2017
https://twitter.com/TannhauserGated/status/907280610443571200
https://twitter.com/StephDegenerate/status/907298715786006528
The Union Organizer’s Plenary https://t.co/rBUoCO8gUt
— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) September 11, 2017
The Coal Miner’s Christmas#CraftBeer https://t.co/AfgrZS1fTb
— Andrew (@AWotanFella) September 10, 2017
https://twitter.com/mulderofficial/status/906944419823157248
Iron Worker’s Syncopation https://t.co/2QKNfrFRHc
— Guy Branum (@guybranum) September 11, 2017
https://twitter.com/MattMcGrail2/status/907238633186394112
https://twitter.com/Etinni_/status/907238513128636417
The Factory Worker’s Current State of Labour’s Brexit Policy i’m not sure i would drink this tbh https://t.co/amAy0QbcVf
— gabyhinsliff (@gabyhinsliff) September 11, 2017
https://twitter.com/benpobjie/status/906855181525983232
2 grandads, thus 2 pints for me. Never a great drinker, am staggering under combined effects of Salesman’s Algorithm and Taxman’s Quark.
— paul (@proteanclod) September 10, 2017
Now all you have to do is start brewing and printing out those labels. Don’t worry, whatever you come up with has to better than “Hoppy Ending Pale Ale”
But even Buttle had a favorite.
https://twitter.com/MelindaButtle/status/907004934352125953
Now that’s a beer.
