- iPhone overloaded? Here’s how to cancel app subscriptions Monday 11:02 PM
- Fan-created ‘app’ lets users experience the final moments of the ill-fated Jeremy Renner app Monday 10:00 PM
- Milo Yiannopoulos receives lifetime ban from furry convention Monday 7:49 PM
- Snapchat just made all political ads purchased publicly available Monday 6:12 PM
- How to stream Barcelona vs. Borussia Dortmund in Champions League action Monday 5:39 PM
- How to stream Liverpool vs. Napoli in Champions League action Monday 5:19 PM
- How to make real money with Amazon’s Mechanical Turk Monday 5:03 PM
- How to stream Chelsea vs. Valencia in the Champions League group stage Monday 4:47 PM
- ‘SNL’ fires Shane Gillis for racist, homophobic comments Monday 4:41 PM
- Ben Shapiro wants accusers to describe Brett Kavanaugh’s penis Monday 4:30 PM
- Twitch suspends streamer for wearing Chun-Li cosplay Monday 4:11 PM
- Report: 8 years of Trump tax returns subpoenaed by prosecutors Monday 3:45 PM
- Netflix lands exclusive streaming rights to ‘Seinfeld’ Monday 3:34 PM
- Jenny Slate sets first comedy special at Netflix Monday 3:05 PM
- #EndSmearFear is aiming to save lives Monday 2:54 PM
Twitter heaps snark on Comcast and Time Warner Cable after failed merger
Insult, meet injury.
When it comes to the uniquely human phenomenon of schadenfreude, there’s little that can compare to the implosion of a $45.2 billion quasi-monopolistic merger between two universally reviled telecoms. The news that Comcast and Time Warner Cable were forced to abandon their merger can thus be considered Christmas for snarky people on Twitter.
Without further ado, here are some of our favorite celebratory burns:
Next question: Will Comcast let Time Warner Cable walk away from this contract without a two hour long painful, patronizing phone call?
— M.G. Siegler (@mgsiegler) April 23, 2015
The Comcast/Time-Warner merger failure intrigues me. Weren’t the right ppl bought off?
— ✨CommradeE✨ (@CommradeE) April 24, 2015
I really could have saved Comcast some time if they asked me, “Do you think the government will let us merge with Time Warner?” “Fuck nall”
— The Black Gambit (@Cybersoulja) April 24, 2015
Great, Comcast+Time Warner is off, so for now they can continue to be terrible companies separately
— Arma (@GeneralArma) April 24, 2015
Time Warner and Comcast deal fell through? Maybe there is a god.
— Jeremy A. Castro (@casjerem) April 24, 2015
Comcast admits defeat on Time Warner Cable merger, distributes Tom Wheeler dartboards to all employees http://t.co/lgh2VtRTBV
— The real Jon Brodkin (@jbrodkin) April 24, 2015
the time warner-comcast merger failed, and i think that that’s sad. folks who work for them probably have lots in common. would’ve been pals
— Jon Bois (@jon_bois) April 24, 2015
BREAKING: Comcast declares merger dead, TWC insists it first check the connections, unplug & plug it in again before it will send a tech
— James Poniewozik (@poniewozik) April 23, 2015
Is there anything better than toasting the demise of a late-capitalist conspiracy to establish the most hellish customer-service infrastructure in history? Maybe—but nothing comes to mind right now.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'