Texas Senator Ted Cruz

Photo via Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons Remix by Samantha Grasso

Ted Cruz: Houston will be saved by U.S. Coast Guard’s rippling muscles

'These are guys that know their way around a weight room.'


Samantha Grasso

Internet Culture

Posted on Sep 8, 2017   Updated on May 22, 2021, 6:02 pm CDT

Texas Sen. Ted Cruz has turned a new leaf, the New York Times reports in its latest profile on his adjustment to a Donald Trump presidency.

The senator formerly pushed back against the Affordable Care Act with a 21-hour filibuster, called Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell a liar, and resisted the $50 billion Hurricane Sandy relief package. However, Cruz now finds himself at the mercy of the Senate now that his home town of Houston and its constituents are under water and beginning the years-long recovery from Hurricane Harvey.

Apparently, this “Ted Cruz 2.0,” the Times writes, also involves serving chili to displaced Houstonians, tearing down drywall with preteens, and marveling over “Coast Guard heroes with dazzling torsos:”

“Almost every one of them ripped,” he marveled on the Senate floor, holding for dramatic pauses pregnant enough to require bed rest. “These are guys that know their way around a weight room.”

That’s not to say Cruz’s newfound tune of “unity, love, and compassion” hasn’t stripped him of all his Texan charm—in response to criticism from New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie that Cruz’s push for a Texas relief package was hypocritical and “disgusting,” Cruz told Christie that nobody in Texas gives a “flip” about what he says.

“And it seems not many people in New Jersey do either,” he added, appearing to allude to Mr. Christie’s anemic approval ratings. “Chris should go back to the beach.”

H/T the Cut

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*First Published: Sep 8, 2017, 3:14 pm CDT