Now that Ted Cruz has some free time, we’d like to teach him about basketball

Ted Cruz

Photo via Gage Skidmore/Flickr

It’s a hoop, Ted.

Ted Cruz fucked up. 

We all know it, and we’ve all enjoyed trying to ignore whatever his Republican opposition will say or has already said about this incompetence. On the other hand, we all make mistakes, and Cruz is supposed to be Canadian or something, too, right? So you can’t fault him that much. 

I’m talking, of course, about the basketball thing.

For Cruz, who sought to bolster his sports cred by picking disgraced candidate Carly Fiorina as his running mate, it’s time to move on from this infamous blunder and onto more relevant gaffes and memes and suspended campaigns. That doesn’t mean it can’t be a learning experience, though, and given his newfound free time, I’ve put together a little FAQ video for Ted and other hoop neophytes that explains some of the finer points of the sport. After watching this baby a few times, Cruz might just turn out to be the Canadian Steven Curdy! Look out, three points line!

You’re welcome.

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