There is sentimental value in receiving a note in the mail instead of by email or a text message. But sometimes a postcard just isn’t special enough. Sometimes you have to say it with food—and no, not with an Edible Arrangement. The Internet is home to a number of services that allow you to send messages emblazoned on food.
According to the USPS, “Fresh fruits and vegetables are nonmailable unless presented in a dry (not dried) condition. Other perishable foods that are capable of easily decomposing or that cannot reach their destination without spoiling are nonmailable. Packaging must be strong and securely sealed as required in DMM 601.1-7.” So it makes sense to pick a food that can make it through shipment without much wear and tear.
Which, you ask? Potato. Always, always potato.
— Potato Parcel (@potatoparcel) February 25, 2016
Allows you to send anonymous messages and images printed on potatoes to your friends and enemies. You can even include a burlap sack in the shipment. The service is available in the U.S., U.K., Canada, Australia, and Europe, and they can fit 15 words on your spud. Potato Parcel does not recommend eating sent potatoes, so maybe your message can be: “I love you but please don’t eat this potato because I can’t get a refund.”
— Anonymous Potato (@Anonymous_Potat) February 3, 2016
Because capitalism thrives on competition, Anonymous Potato also lets you send anonymous messages on potatoes, though you can choose between “regular” or “large” tubers. Anonymous Potato specifies that they can fit 140 characters on a large potato, so it’s perfect for your friends who refuse to join Twitter and are therefore missing all your jokes.
You know the drill by now—but Mystery Potato can send a whole box of potatoes. Or 13 unlucky black potatoes, if you really want to get creative.