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Man, fuck it.
If you need some witty convoluted explanation as to how we got to this point as a society you’ve come to the absolute wrong place. You get what this is. Some shit happened and everyone made fun of it. Then some other shit happened and some people were like, “bet that other shit is happy that shit happened.” Then some other shit happened, and like four people made three good tweets —then 300,000 other people made the exact same tweet.
Pepsi: How will we get the spotlight off us?— Bradley P. Moss, Esq (@BradMossEsq) April 11, 2017
United: Hold my ---.
Spicer: No no, step aside boys. I've got this.
United: We’re having a bad week.— Mike Nellis (@MikeNellis) April 11, 2017
Sean Spicer: Hold my Pepsi.
Pepsi: That was the biggest PR blunder of the week, year maybe.— Lance Bradley (@Lance_Bradley) April 11, 2017
United: Hold my beer.
Sean Spicer: LEEEEEEEEEERROOOOOOOY JEEEENNNNNNKINS!
Pepsi: We own the biggest PR disaster of the year.— Michael Luciano (@michaelsluciano) April 11, 2017
United: Hold my--
Sean Spicer: NOT EVEN HITLER GASSED PEOPLE!
Pepsi: Yo check this out!— Matt Fuller (@MEPFuller) April 11, 2017
United: LOL hold my beer
Spicer: You think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it.
Those were some acceptable fine tweets about some current events.
Now here is the same joke approximately 50,000 times over. (Even I made the same dumb tweet, and it sucked.)
Pepsi: "We had the worst PR disaster in history."— Sandra T ☕️☕️☕️ (@thisissandrat) April 11, 2017
United: "Hold my beer!"
Sean Spicer: "Guys, I've got this!"
Pepsi: Damn, we messed up really bad.— Alen Alic (@AlenAlic_) April 11, 2017
United Airlines: Step aside.
Sean Spicer: Hold my beer.
Pepsi CEO: You wouldn't believe the PR disaster we were having....— Michael Tannenbaum (@iamTannenbaum) April 11, 2017
United CEO: Hold my beer.
Sean Spicer: HOLD THIS-HOLOCAUST CENTERS!!!
Pepsi: "Man, we've made a terrible mistake."— David Cheung (@newfiecheung) April 11, 2017
United: "Hold my beer"
Sean Spicer: *rolls up sleeves*
@redsteeze Pepsi: We had a bad week.— Chris Hynes (@realchrishynes) April 11, 2017
United: This isn't going well for us. What a damned train wreck. This can't get worse.
Spicer: Hold my beer.
Here, would you like to be bored to actual psychical death by the derivative nature of humanity? Click away.
Me? I’m about to go drink myself to death.
David Covucci is the Layer 8 editor at the Daily Dot, covering the intersection of politics and the web. His work has appeared in Vice, the Huffington Post, Jezebel, Gothamist, and other publications. He is particularly interested in hearing any tips you have. Reach out at [email protected]