Man, fuck it.
If you need some witty convoluted explanation as to how we got to this point as a society you’ve come to the absolute wrong place. You get what this is. Some shit happened and everyone made fun of it. Then some other shit happened and some people were like, “bet that other shit is happy that shit happened.” Then some other shit happened, and like four people made three good tweets —then 300,000 other people made the exact same tweet.
Pepsi: How will we get the spotlight off us?
United: Hold my —.
Spicer: No no, step aside boys. I've got this.
— Bradley P. Moss (@BradMossEsq) April 11, 2017
United: We’re having a bad week.
Sean Spicer: Hold my Pepsi.
— Mike Nellis (@MikeNellis) April 11, 2017
Pepsi: That was the biggest PR blunder of the week, year maybe.
United: Hold my beer.
Sean Spicer: LEEEEEEEEEERROOOOOOOY JEEEENNNNNNKINS!
— Lance Bradley (@Lance_Bradley) April 11, 2017
Pepsi: We own the biggest PR disaster of the year.
United: Hold my–
Sean Spicer: NOT EVEN HITLER GASSED PEOPLE!
— Michael Luciano (@michaelsluciano) April 11, 2017
Pepsi: Yo check this out!
United: LOL hold my beer
Spicer: You think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it.
— Matt Fuller (@MEPFuller) April 11, 2017
Those were some acceptable fine tweets about some current events.
Now here is the same joke approximately 50,000 times over. (Even I made the same dumb tweet, and it sucked.)
Pepsi: We just made the most offensive PR gaffe.
United: Hold my Pepsi.
Spicer: Hitler didn't use Pepsi.
— M. J. Grant is on strike #UCUstrike (@campaignbear) April 11, 2017
Pepsi: "We had the worst PR disaster in history."
United: "Hold my beer!"
Sean Spicer: "Guys, I've got this!"
— Sandra T ☕️☕️☕️ (@thisissandrat) April 11, 2017
Pepsi: "Man, we've made a terrible mistake."
United: "Hold my beer"
Sean Spicer: *rolls up sleeves*
— David Cheung (@newfiecheung) April 11, 2017
Pepsi: We had a bad week.
United: This isn't going well for us. What a damned train wreck. This can't get worse.
Spicer: Hold my beer.
— Chris Hynes (@realchrishynes) April 11, 2017
Here, would you like to be bored to actual psychical death by the derivative nature of humanity? Click away.
Me? I’m about to go drink myself to death.