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‘I’m so wealthy I pay someone to ride my Peloton.’
Ads for the Peloton bike have been overtaking our televisions—and Twitter is finally pushing back.
Their depiction of the Peloton lifestyle—all spacious windows, beautiful people, and panoramic views—is equal parts enticing and unachievable. For the vast majority of us, at least. This fact was not lost on Twitter users, who took to the platform to mock the ad’s blatant misunderstanding of the average American’s lifestyle.
I had my carpenter build a $9,000 finished wood riser for my Peloton bike in my glass-enclosed zen garden/home gym pic.twitter.com/VJSOjctYtO— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
The vast majority of the tweets come from user Clue Heywood. “Love putting my Peloton bike in the most striking area of my ultra-modern $3 million house,” he began his thread, which quickly went viral this week. It only got better from there, as he shared screenshots of the absurdly expensive homes featured in every Peloton ad.
When we visited my parents for Christmas I had to put my Peloton bike right in the living room, they didn’t have a home gym or a conservatory or anything ugh pic.twitter.com/iuPSriUjmO— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
“When we visited my parents for Christmas I had to put my Peloton bike right in the living room, they didn’t have a home gym or a conservatory or anything ugh,” Heywood wrote alongside a photo of a Peloton user in a somewhat more achievable home.
I took my Peloton bike to Europe and used it on the balcony of our $2,000/night Airbnb and honestly I felt like I was flying over London, you should try it pic.twitter.com/sVjdO78MRV— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
Probably the worst thing about putting a Peloton bike in my spotless huge kitchen is when my dumb kid interrupts the workout. Where is Consuela? She has one job! pic.twitter.com/KYL5l1zTst— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
“I have a Peloton at home, at work, and also one placed by the ocean-facing living room windows of our four bedroom beach cottage,” Heywood wrote.
My bright and airy sunroom is a great place for the Peloton bike. I leave the arcadia door ajar so I feel like I’m actually riding a bicycle...outside! pic.twitter.com/q7k7FVlAcT— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
The picture windows at our chalet provide breathtaking views from the Peloton bike. In the living room set behind it, all you can see is the Peloton bike. pic.twitter.com/JwSPtsao8L— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
Last year we painstakingly remodeled a midcentury modern house in the hills, including furniture from the period. Then I put my Peloton bike right in the middle of the living room. pic.twitter.com/27aw5gD6ay— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
In the mornings, after my housekeeper meticulously makes my bed, I like to ride my Peloton bike in the window of my high rise and literally look down my nose at people. pic.twitter.com/4tCrIOVVA2— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
“This is absolutely unacceptable Peloton placement,” Heywood wrote alongside a photo of a Peloton in a normal-looking basement. “This appears to be a basement and not a solarium, conservatory, grotto, inglenook, or rumpus room.”
Some people tell me that I should put my living room here because of the amazing view. I have to question their priorities. Who on earth spends more time on their couch than on their Peloton bike? pic.twitter.com/01zKKPRkAa— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
Our architect suggested a Peloton nook for our pied-à-terre. They do not belong in nooks. They belong where an observatory would be, if you didn’t own a Peloton.— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019
We fired him. pic.twitter.com/p02yYLbE50
“Our architect suggested a Peloton nook for our pied-à-terre,” Heywood wrote toward the end of his mid-afternoon Twitter storm. “They do not belong in nooks. They belong where an observatory would be, if you didn’t own a Peloton. We fired him.”
I belive I found the perfect room for my Peloton. pic.twitter.com/ORBwOCYkRK— Oscar Vargas (@oscarmvargas1) January 29, 2019
One user responded with a photo of a gorgeous, empty living room large enough to house my entire apartment two times over. “I believe I found the perfect room for my Peloton,” they wrote. Other users got in on the fun too. “I am so wealthy that I pay someone to ride my @onepeloton,” @TMcG1972 wrote.
I don’t sweat on my @onepeloton , I glisten. The shimmer matches the pattern on my $500 yoga pants...— Jason Meyers (@roadie374) January 29, 2019
This convenient workout machine is perfect for anyone with an empty veranda or grand foyer just begging to be repurposed for your daily workout. Just make sure the bay windows look out over your rose garden—or at least the New York City skyline. The Peloton bike starts at $2,200.
Nahila Bonfiglio reports on geek culture and gaming. Her work has also appeared on KUT's Texas Standard (Austin), KPAC-FM (San Antonio), and the Daily Texan.